How To Keep Your Man

It is quite easy to get a man. How to keep him though? A challenge for most women.

What to do?
How to do it?
When to do it?
Where to do it?

Enter Betty (real name withheld of course!)

She is one of the hottest women I know. She is gorgeous!

Beautiful. Intelligent. Ambitious. Articulate. Excellent voice. Warm. Real. Laughs from a good, healthy place.

A sexy bombshell.

I have known her for a little over six years now. She is a very close and dear friend. A kindred spirit. My muse of sorts.

In all these (six) years, she has consistently maintained a torrid relationship.

Against the craziest odds.
These odds include taboo, tradition, morality, common sense… amongst a few.
If their relationship were to be made public, lives would be ruined.
I kid you not, human blood will be shed.
Yet, they (discreetly) remain devoted to each other.

We talk a lot. And a few days ago I asked her what the secret of her successful relationship was.
We spoke on phone for almost half an hour on this subject… I took down eight pointers.

On a scale of ’10’, by whatever rational standard, the woman in question would be rated (at the very least) ‘8.5’.

She is truly ‘all that’.

A lot of men think so too. She is most men’s ‘spec’.

She is a socialite, extroverted, charismatic and popular.

So, if she bothers to speak, ladies, I suggest you listen.

In her words…

1) Like each other: do you know it is possible to love someone, yet not like them? Like an obnoxious sibling. Or a wayward child. Or a difficult parent? You have to be with a man you like. Not love (yet). That may develop. But you must like him.

2) Don’t plan: be spontaneous as often as possible. As regards sex, holidays, adventures, outings… Live a little! Just do it! Just do stuff. Be free. Live free and child-like with him. Be that fun-to-be-with girl that you were. Before the issues of life regimented your liberty.

3) Don’t be uptight spiritually:


My dad recently started reading my blog. I was raised Baptist.
A couple of spiritual brethren look in from time to time too.
I will be vilified, possibly chastised to an early grave if I dare relate her exact sentiments here.
Pressure me one on one and I’ll tell you…my sincere apologies.

4) Look good: your man is moved by what he sees. He is turned on visually. Your appearance matters. Do not dress like a slut. Don’t ever make him ashamed of being seen with you in public. Think along the extreme dress-themes of the movie “Pretty Woman”. Dress up to make him proud; and you, looking classy. Leave the sluttiness and naughtiness for his eyes only.

5) Read books: broaden your mind. Hooking your man is not the ultimate goal. Keeping him eternally seduced and besotted is. Conversation is key. The best conversations come from an enlightened mind. Don’t be dull. Don’t be naive. Study to show yourself approved.

6) Watch his movies with him: (she said it just like that…curtly. Her tone of voice discouraged any contrary opinion).

7) Pray for him: And above all; pray. Spiritual births the physical. If you pray for the best for him, he will know. Not because he heard you pray, or because you told him. A bond occurs. Your union will be strengthened.

8) Don’t snoop around: stop that nonsense. Have faith.
Leave his phones, wardrobe, wallet, bags, laptop, iPad, etc alone.
Let him let you in. Men are territorial. Force yourself in, and you’d end up:-

a) Vomited.

B) Causing him constipation, and ultimately purged of.

Dan Ochu-Baiye

Large. Curious. Reads a lot. Wild. Loves lions and tigers. Music. Gym. Hiking. Loud music.

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Tuesday

    Scared to comment…..we didnt get the annoucement or maybe you missed it….but seriously!!!!??? i like them dont get me wrong but there in no order yes? and dare i ask about this relationship offline friend?

    1. Dan Ochu-Baiye

      Which announcement Tuesday? No particular order either. I know the points are simplistic. But I am speaking with a chairman on the male point of view. Let’s chat offline.

  2. zeenike

    It’s a morally torrid affair. She prays for him. OK.

    1. Dan Ochu-Baiye

      Its morally unfair. But they’re still at it. Something’s worked.

  3. eroticablackx

    While I can appreciate this list to some respect, I have a slight disagreement to raise. No doubt these things are key to being happy, but I don’t think you can keep a man that does not want to be kept. Anybody can be all of the above and still things not work out, he cheats or whatever. The last key point which wasn’t mentioned was that she committed to a good man who wanted a monogamous relationship. All in all valid list though.

    1. Dan Ochu-Baiye

      Thank you eroticablackx…
      I agree that you cannot keep anyone who will not ‘keep’. But the intrigue and drama of man and woman! Nothing quite like it!
      Please, don’t be a stranger… I will return the courtesy.

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