10(-ish) Things 10 Women Wish Men Knew About Sex


First off, I confess that I am way out of my depth on this one.

For once though, I got the feeling that there were real feelings communicated to me. Leads me to believe that men have fallen short of several ‘glories’ severally.

The blatant honesty I got off my polls led me to change the format I originally intended.

I have left their responses as they were sent to me. Rough, rugged and raw.

I edited redundancies; I made a few interjections where I felt such additions would clarify the writers intentions. Finally typographical errors and a bit of grammar. But the entries are at least 95% original (as they were sent to me).

Citizens… Men of the earth… Gee’s and Gents alike… The Heathen and The Holy…
Ten (-ish) things ten women wish men knew about sex!

“L” Said;

1. Guys need to know how to turn their women on, it’s not all about “open lemme enter”.
2. It’s ok to be a ‘5-minute’ man sometimes, it’s not nice when the guy decides to “hold out” just to “claim” he’s a stallion.
3. Size isn’t all that matters, You can have the size but not use it well, guys need to know what gets their women off.

“Li” said;

1. You need to worship our bodies. No, I’m not asking you to perform ablution or sing a hymn before the act, but guys aren’t the only ones who like their ego stroked. Look at what we have laid out before you (or stood up or bent over), we really want you to look and appreciate it, before you begin. We might be shy or self conscious but we really want to show you, so make us comfortable enough to do so by appreciating the little we initially show. Don’t just turn out the lights, lift the nightgown and pump away. Also, me on my elbows and knees, naked and with my butt in the air is awkward enough, that’s not the time to point out my stretch marks. No “observations” at that time.
2. That having been said, women aren’t always warm and mushy and all about the “love making”, sometimes we just want to be… *ahem*, what four letter words can I use here? Anyway, sometimes we need you to let yourself go and ravish us. We want to know that we have that effect on you, that we can turn you from the suit wearing debonair to a horny cave man. So once in a while, literally carry your woman off from whatever she was doing, if you’re strong enough throw her over your shoulder (watch her head), take her inside (or outside, you degenerate, you!) And just have her.
3. Touch, touch, touch! We know you’re in the zone and want to bump uglies post haste but women like to be touched. Not just her boobs or between her legs. Touch her legs, her thighs, her waist, her tummy. Run your hands (lightly, please, she’s not a ball of Eba*) over her entire body. There are specific erogenous zones, but when a woman is aroused even her hair wants to be touched. There is a caveat here, though: if she’s Black, be very tentative about touching the hair and retreat the minute she gives you ‘the look’, men have lost arms for less.
4. Very important: our jaws hurt when we’ve been giving you head for a while, so unless you’re sleeping with a porn star or its your birthday please be merciful and pull your woman up after a while. For karma. Someone will do it for your sister (or daughter)someday.

“C” said;

I wish he knew that emotion comes first before sex.

“A” Said;

1. for my man or any man….dat sex is not about them but us.
2. If i don’t like something, u shouldn’t insist on it for your pleasure and vice versa except by choice of d person who dislikes.
3. A change of scenery and environment,  time, anything is essential to keep sex alive… Same of same does not work….especially if its working for just u.

“Ch” Said;

1. Being sensitive without my telling him what to do (For) e.g. not suckling one breast for too long leaving the other jealous.
2. Being creative and adding new skills. 3. Learning to climax when I am set too.

“J” Said;

1. Sometimes my psyche needs to be stimulated more than my body to get me in d mood (do something nice and unexpected, play mind games; #wink#)
2. When he eventually finds that clit with his tongue (oh!) not finger,  he shld softly but firmly lick it up n down, round and round until I beg him to stop…….lol.
3. Will let u know when I think of number ‘3’.

“Ju” Said;

1. Foreplay very necessary! Not sharp- sharp (quick) one o. Prolonged (foreplay) not bad (at all): smile…
2. “BO” (body odour) and “MO” (mouth odour)nah. Turn off. Hygiene key!
3. Knowing sensitive areas is key for orgasm. (For) Some it’s the boobs, genital area bla bla bla… There shld be consideration in the “act”.

“E” Said;

1. For one, don’t try to do too much all at once…everything just seems confused.
2. Some of us like dirty talk…cos in that moment, it’s legal. so if you don’t know you better ask somebody…mhmmm?!
3. And finally, hmmm…I wish y’all knew you ought to take a shower cos d smell of sweat, instant turn off. goes for the mouth too….:roll:

“A” Said;

1. Every woman can tell when a man desires her by the way he looks at her and his gentle touch even when they pass by each other. When a woman knows she is wanted she looks forward to sex with him and creates the atmosphere for it because in the act of sex she gives all of herself to him which is what I believe her man would love.
2) A woman who is clear about what she wants for herself is greatly turned on by a man who isn’t insecure about her dreams and aspirations but supports them and goes out of his way to make them a reality and (thus) empowering her alongside. He becomes the man she goes to for everything including sex because in discussing matters that require intelligence which she is- intelligent, he stimulates her mind and that eventually translates to her body because the sight of her man brings her in tune with him. She reads his signals easily as she is a woman whose mind has been unraveled by her mind concerning what is of importance to her.

“R” Said;

A good header.

The women have spoken. Honestly, openly and I perceive, truthfully.

God bless women worldwide.

Lovealways ladies.

*Eba: is a staple food eaten in West Africa, particularly in the Southern parts of Nigeria made from cassava (manioc) flour, known in West Africa as Gari


Why I Blew My Nose Into Your New Year Resolution(s)

Stop it!

It did not work last year. It will most likely fail epically this year too.

A happy New Year to you!
(Auld Lang Syne softly playing in my head as I write…)

We made it!

Okay, okay… Enough with the corniness…

Why do you torture yourself with “New Year Resolutions”?
What is it about the first of January that would suddenly cure you of procrastination? Or endow you with resolve?

At a basic level, all 365 days of the year are the same. At this normal stage of awareness, no day is imbued with more magic than others. Certainly not January the first. So whatever needs accomplishing may be done on any God-given day you choose to act.

It’s not really a fresh start either; let’s face it, you are older… Maybe hungover… And not necessarily wiser. It’s quite frankly just another day. Like May 16th or August 7th.

January the 1st is unique simply because the number ‘1’ is the first number you have learned or heard. Whatever glory or symbolism you ascribe to January the first could also be accrued to the first day of other months.

Nike says it best, ” Just Do It. ”

Don’t delay.

Think as briefly as the venture requires… And then attack your “toad” or “gold”.

Whatever needs to be done, attack it NOW!

Get on top of that situation.

Own it!
Make it!!

Procrastination is the enemy of illumination. It is the darkening/benumbing of the mind.
It is the light at the end of a perpetual tunnel…A light you will never reach for reasons conjured by procrastination.

True light cannot be hid. In truth, darkness is transient. It is light that always suffers the injustice of “attempted concealment “, by (it’s archenemy) darkness.

Nothing stops you my friends (ehmmmm…Note2Self).

All things are yours.

All things.

Yet not all things are expedient. But, that is another path (upon which we shall not tread today).

I wish you the will to look. The eye to see. And the vision to be.

I earnestly pray that what you see, you become… In line with the brightest and purest of Lights.

I welcome you not to 2015, but just to another day.
A day the Lord has made… Laden with potential. Make it, and all other days count in your favour.

Shine bright my friends.

Ms. Sage…

The experience still haunts me till this day.

She must have been two years old, or slightly less. Though this detail skips me, i do know that she hadn’t begun speaking fluently. Her vocabulary was limited to; ‘tea’, ‘mama’, ‘no’, ‘yes’…etcetera. She had not begun stringing sentences together, just gibberish.

She is my firstborn, and extremely beautiful. I am not biased, I’ve had to batter a few friends who dared compliment her good looks. Let’s just say i am extremely possessive around the kid.

You know what they say about daughters and their fathers? Yeah, we fit the profile. We are close like that. Right from birth, uncanny really.

She does not call me ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘daddy’. For some reason, at the point of my story, she was calling me ‘babes’. Her mum calls me that. Years after, she still calls me ‘babes’ when she wants my full attention.

The times in question were rough. Trying situations sought to test my resolve. She was still being potty-trained. Her personality was starting to blossom, my life was in crucial imbalance. My rite of passage into fatherhood was tough.

The time was about 5 a.m. She specifically woke me up, and i knew she had to go ‘potty’. And so groggy and bleary-eyed from sleep, i acquiesced and had her all set up. I was leaning against a door frame thinking thoughts i cannot recall presently.


‘Yes baby…?’

‘Jesus is coming soon.’

Now folks, I’m not the sort prone to fear or panic. But those words sent me hyperventilating. I jerked upright, my (very few hairs) prickling…

‘What did you just say?’

With her lovely eyes as clear as crystal, her manner and demeanor devoid of guile or motive, she reiterated, ‘Jesus is coming soon.’

I later learned that i had screamed for her mum. Because the wife was suddenly beside me, a picture of maternal authority.

‘Sage, tell mama what you just told me?’ I remember hoarsely requesting.

And she did.

‘Jesus Christ!’ Her mum expostulated.

Yuppity yup!! The same one coming soon apparently I reasoned. The ‘sly’ in me emerged in microseconds…

‘When is He coming exactly?’

She smiled enigmatically in response.

‘Is it today?’ her mum quipped.

Another smile.


‘Yes Sage?’ We chorused.

She stood up. ‘I have finish.’