Lost

All you said, were mine
All you did was for me
All you were; was me.

Now you speak and I hear another
Now you act and I see him
Now all I see is him.

So, I love another
So, I no longer bother
So…? I know no longer.

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How To Keep Him Interested

Had an interesting call the other day. And like I promised you ma’am, here are tips on how to keep us men interested.

Hold your horses though, is the man in your life married to you?
Committed, exclusive relationship?
Fresh date?
The parameters shift in direct proportion to your answers.
Largely though, these tips work for most situations. But they are are loosely compiled for married folk… (Chiagozie, yes, that is a disclaimer. Lol)

Are you losing him? True women know what I mean. Pseudo-women are notoriously clueless to the sign, and then wonder what happened or what the other woman has that she doesn’t.

Is he spending more time elsewhere? Despite being in the same room with you?

Are you living with a shadow of him, a ‘shell’ of the man you once knew?

Did you hurt him?
Lovers spat perhaps?
Or just waning lust?
Either way, these, or some of these may help:-

Be spontaneous. Shock him, awe him, make plans for the evening or plan an entire elaborate date by yourself. Surprise him and never be too predictable.

Don’t change yourself. Stay true to the real person that you are. Don’t change yourself, change however, your personality. Be dynamic, but stick to who you are. It’s frankly easier. And honest.

Take initiatives in bed. Your guy may like taking control in bed, but when you show creativity, you may leave him in awe of your confidence and sexiness.

Smell great all the time. Always smell great around him but don’t overpower subtle fragrances with sickly sweet perfumes though. Always smell good, and pay special attention to your personal hygiene and body odor.

Learn to seduce him. Seduction doesn’t stop in bed. Be sexy around him and be creative wherever you go.

Show interest in his hobbies. A guy would absolutely love a girl who shows interest in his special hobbies, be it playing on his Xbox or climbing a mountain. Men want to spend their lives with a woman who truly understands them and connects to them.

Don’t be a drama queen. It’s alright to throw a fussy fit now and then if your guy disrespects you. But no matter what, don’t exaggerate a situation or blow it out of proportion just to prove a point. Guys can see through the acts of even the best drama queens.

Be his shoulder to lean on. Give him your strength and support when he’s low on morale. Reassure him and help him confide his problems to you. Be his confidant and his warm pillow when he’s in the dumps and he’ll treat you like a goddess.

Be his arm candy. Look good in his arms when both of you are together. Get a new hairstyle now and then, look fashionable and classy and he’ll never want you to leave his arms.

Be financially secure. Be in control of your finances and have a well settled job. Guys love a girl with a steady head on her shoulders. At the same time, they stay a mile away from careless spendthrifts!

Have intelligent conversations. A guy may want an arm candy when he’s on the streets, but he also wants a lover who can communicate with him and have intelligent conversations at the end of the day.

Win over his family. Guys are attached to their families and a few guys are even loyal mama’s boys. Make his family and friends think you’re a catch and he’ll definitely love you more.

Help him deal with life. Men may behave like the saviors of the world. But inside, they’re still little boys who need a cuddle and a hug now and then. Help your man deal with the issues life throws at him.

Public display of affection. Your man may shy away from a bit of PDA, but he still loves it when you cling to his arms like a damsel in distress. It makes him feel more powerful and sexy!

Stroke his ego. If you want to keep your guy interested and happy, learn to stroke his ego. Compliment his achievements and give him a pat on his back when he’s proud of something. Make him feel like a man and he’ll stay your man.

Be independent and dependent. Confused? Be dependent when you’re with him. Be independent when you’re by yourself. It’ll make him feel more like a man when you’re around without really feeling like you’re needy when he’s busy doing something else.

Be happy and interesting. Be interesting and creative with your life. See the happy side in everything, even in the most mundane of days. When you’re an optimist, your infectious happiness will definitely rub on to him.

Don’t make him feel insecure. Flirt with others and talk to men, but never at the cost of his insecurity. When he’s around, hug him close and he’ll swell with affection for you. No stories of your exes. Stay loyal. And oh… Do not…I repeat, do not, betray his confidence(s) in you. You will be emotionally (and eventually physically) replaced if you do.

Be smart and classy. Don’t ask stupid questions. Guys may like a dumb bimbette at first, but they’re not looking for a long term relationship with them.

Don’t be clingy and needy. Guys like a damsel who needs their help. But that stops once the infatuation period is over. Show him that you’re self reliant and he’ll always look for ways to help you and please you.

Be sexually innovative. Know your moves in bed and everywhere else. Have sex in different places, role play with him, wear an apron and nothing else while cooking something special, tie his hands to the bedpost, or vice versa… You get the drift, don’t you?

Be a good cook. No matter what people say, the adage, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach still holds good. I’m an exception to that rule though… But it works generally.

Make him proud of you. Guys may be shallow at first sight, but they still want a girl they can respect and admire. Be an achiever and a girl he can look up to in awe.

Respect yourself. You’re not a doormat. Let him know that you have the strength to move on if he treats you badly.

Don’t play “games”. It becomes obvious when a woman is playing coy. The repercussions are usually dire, albeit fatal.
Don’t play hard to get.
Jealousy? Hmmm…! Please don’t. He may kill you.
Don’t test his love. Have faith.
Don’t test his commitment. His patience or his resolve. Just be loving… Or not. Emotions are not to be played with.

Make him dependent on you. As long as he thinks he can’t live without you or if he feels helpless without you, he’ll always stay dependent on you.

Pick the traits you can use and you’ll see how easy it can be to keep a guy interested in you. But never let him use you or treat you like a pushover.

Earn his respect and love. And let him earn yours. Treat him with love and affection, even if he does not deserve it. Have a timeframe though… If he does not thaw or change, respect yourself and take leave of the moron.

My ‘1’

I have always loved you. It has always been you.

I fell in love with your mind. These days not so much, your mind has changed. So, the perv in me is now in love with your body.

The curious blend of your hair length and skin tone, your flair and feminine charms. Your delicate fragrances, your adorable eyes…they please my eyes. They stimulate my senses.

I love to hear you speak my queen. Your accent and diction make any subject palatable. And when you’re angry or upset, despite your tone of voice or the issue at hand, its hard to take you seriously. You are incredibly sexy when you’re angry luv!

I see you. I really do.
I don’t like you sometimes, but I still need you close by.
I am learning you more and more. Your strengths and your weaknesses.
Your capabilities and your true alliances.
I see you. I really do.

Thank you for loving me back. Thank you for trying to be my friend.
I appreciate your good graces.
I celebrate who you were; and the person you have become.
I will always love you regardless.

Lovealways babes.

When The Wrong One Loves You Right

It is true. Most of our loyal and dedicated fans and admirers are actually illegitimate.

It seems to beg the question, ”are the legitimate support complacent?” or do the illegitimate go the extra mile with the hope of attaining ‘legitimacy’? Or is the issue in the heart of the beloved of both?

Will the illegitimate end up complacent too…or will their ardor burn like the sun for as long as they live? Is all they seek legitimacy, and the current enthusiasm just ‘eye-service’ before diminishing returns or buyers remorse or Napoleons’ syndrome of post-victory depression make them stereotypical?

While they subtly hint and flirt; while their gaze and (erroneous) touch linger infinitely, you have to admit that it feels good to be wanted. While they overtly or covertly woo and flatter you, while they pepper you with gifts and innuendos, you have to admit that being courted is good for ones’ spirits.

But, you still end up comparing sometimes. Still end up wishing the right one loved you right.