10(-ish) Things 10 Women Wish Men Knew About Sex

Okay!

First off, I confess that I am way out of my depth on this one.

For once though, I got the feeling that there were real feelings communicated to me. Leads me to believe that men have fallen short of several ‘glories’ severally.

The blatant honesty I got off my polls led me to change the format I originally intended.

I have left their responses as they were sent to me. Rough, rugged and raw.

I edited redundancies; I made a few interjections where I felt such additions would clarify the writers intentions. Finally typographical errors and a bit of grammar. But the entries are at least 95% original (as they were sent to me).

Citizens… Men of the earth… Gee’s and Gents alike… The Heathen and The Holy…
Ten (-ish) things ten women wish men knew about sex!

“L” Said;

1. Guys need to know how to turn their women on, it’s not all about “open lemme enter”.
2. It’s ok to be a ‘5-minute’ man sometimes, it’s not nice when the guy decides to “hold out” just to “claim” he’s a stallion.
3. Size isn’t all that matters, You can have the size but not use it well, guys need to know what gets their women off.

“Li” said;

1. You need to worship our bodies. No, I’m not asking you to perform ablution or sing a hymn before the act, but guys aren’t the only ones who like their ego stroked. Look at what we have laid out before you (or stood up or bent over), we really want you to look and appreciate it, before you begin. We might be shy or self conscious but we really want to show you, so make us comfortable enough to do so by appreciating the little we initially show. Don’t just turn out the lights, lift the nightgown and pump away. Also, me on my elbows and knees, naked and with my butt in the air is awkward enough, that’s not the time to point out my stretch marks. No “observations” at that time.
2. That having been said, women aren’t always warm and mushy and all about the “love making”, sometimes we just want to be… *ahem*, what four letter words can I use here? Anyway, sometimes we need you to let yourself go and ravish us. We want to know that we have that effect on you, that we can turn you from the suit wearing debonair to a horny cave man. So once in a while, literally carry your woman off from whatever she was doing, if you’re strong enough throw her over your shoulder (watch her head), take her inside (or outside, you degenerate, you!) And just have her.
3. Touch, touch, touch! We know you’re in the zone and want to bump uglies post haste but women like to be touched. Not just her boobs or between her legs. Touch her legs, her thighs, her waist, her tummy. Run your hands (lightly, please, she’s not a ball of Eba*) over her entire body. There are specific erogenous zones, but when a woman is aroused even her hair wants to be touched. There is a caveat here, though: if she’s Black, be very tentative about touching the hair and retreat the minute she gives you ‘the look’, men have lost arms for less.
4. Very important: our jaws hurt when we’ve been giving you head for a while, so unless you’re sleeping with a porn star or its your birthday please be merciful and pull your woman up after a while. For karma. Someone will do it for your sister (or daughter)someday.

“C” said;

I wish he knew that emotion comes first before sex.

“A” Said;

1. for my man or any man….dat sex is not about them but us.
2. If i don’t like something, u shouldn’t insist on it for your pleasure and vice versa except by choice of d person who dislikes.
3. A change of scenery and environment,  time, anything is essential to keep sex alive… Same of same does not work….especially if its working for just u.

“Ch” Said;

1. Being sensitive without my telling him what to do (For) e.g. not suckling one breast for too long leaving the other jealous.
2. Being creative and adding new skills. 3. Learning to climax when I am set too.

“J” Said;

1. Sometimes my psyche needs to be stimulated more than my body to get me in d mood (do something nice and unexpected, play mind games; #wink#)
2. When he eventually finds that clit with his tongue (oh!) not finger,  he shld softly but firmly lick it up n down, round and round until I beg him to stop…….lol.
3. Will let u know when I think of number ‘3’.

“Ju” Said;

1. Foreplay very necessary! Not sharp- sharp (quick) one o. Prolonged (foreplay) not bad (at all): smile…
2. “BO” (body odour) and “MO” (mouth odour)nah. Turn off. Hygiene key!
3. Knowing sensitive areas is key for orgasm. (For) Some it’s the boobs, genital area bla bla bla… There shld be consideration in the “act”.

“E” Said;

1. For one, don’t try to do too much all at once…everything just seems confused.
2. Some of us like dirty talk…cos in that moment, it’s legal. so if you don’t know you better ask somebody…mhmmm?!
3. And finally, hmmm…I wish y’all knew you ought to take a shower cos d smell of sweat, instant turn off. goes for the mouth too….:roll:

“A” Said;

1. Every woman can tell when a man desires her by the way he looks at her and his gentle touch even when they pass by each other. When a woman knows she is wanted she looks forward to sex with him and creates the atmosphere for it because in the act of sex she gives all of herself to him which is what I believe her man would love.
2) A woman who is clear about what she wants for herself is greatly turned on by a man who isn’t insecure about her dreams and aspirations but supports them and goes out of his way to make them a reality and (thus) empowering her alongside. He becomes the man she goes to for everything including sex because in discussing matters that require intelligence which she is- intelligent, he stimulates her mind and that eventually translates to her body because the sight of her man brings her in tune with him. She reads his signals easily as she is a woman whose mind has been unraveled by her mind concerning what is of importance to her.

“R” Said;

A good header.

The women have spoken. Honestly, openly and I perceive, truthfully.

God bless women worldwide.

Lovealways ladies.

*Eba: is a staple food eaten in West Africa, particularly in the Southern parts of Nigeria made from cassava (manioc) flour, known in West Africa as Gari

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10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

I have always been committed to traumatising the prudes amongst us.

I belong to a school of thought that ties a lot to the beautiful art (and act) of sex. We think it is the answer to a lot of things.

Idiots!

Well, whilst conducting routine research, I stumbled upon this post. “Why hoard these nuggets of wisdom?” I thought to myself.
And benevolently and magnanimously decided to share (and maybe traumatise) you with them.

As always, #caveatuploadingdisclaimerinsertedhere# the following nuggets are for the consumption of readers aged eighteen (18) and above. And though I didn’t write… Blah, blah blah…

“Freud called female sexuality “the dark continent”; if that’s true, male sexuality could qualify as the dark planet. But when it comes to sex, guys are simple, right? Not true. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, and as such, what you see and hear is typically the role, not the reality. It’s no wonder, in trying to please the actor, a woman loses sight of a guy’s true identity. Here are 10 “unmasking” facts you may want to know:

1. We respond to praise.
It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities.

2. We fear intimacy…
…but not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins — of words, thoughts, feelings — and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men — not because it’s smothering, but because we realize how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly.

3. We appreciate sex for sex’s sake.
Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a little “throw-me-down sex” is the right medicine. According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist, “Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.” On occasion, try letting him ravish you.

4. We are not just our…
The penis gets all the press, but men have “many erogenous zones,” says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. “Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.” Like the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during oral sex.

5. We encourage fantasies.
“Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Dr. Schaefer also reports that men wish women would reveal theirs. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, Dr. Kort recommends asking the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios.

6. We like it when you talk.
Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears. What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker.

7. We need your honesty. 
Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or that you only do certain things on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.

8. We enjoy the dance.
Men like a good quest; unfortunately, these days, there are so few. But romance earns that distinction. Allow us to court you; make us deserve your desire. Dr. Kort makes an additional point: “Emotional intimacy is about closeness, but sustaining sexual desire demands a certain amount of distance.” How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls “separate sexuality”: a sexual life that doesn’t include, but doesn’t betray, the other. “For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use toys or letting other men look at her; for her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy.” Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties.

9. We can explain pornography.
Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, says Dr. Kort, but it shouldn’t be overreacted to or pathologized. A few things to clear up: 1. Sex addicts represent only 4 percent of the population, so it’s unlikely your partner is one. 2. Because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on. In other words, says Dr. Kort, “no woman can, nor should she, be everything to a man.” Still, the question remains: How does a woman not take pornography personally? First, determine if your mate is compulsive, or can only have sex, with pornography. If so, you may want to seek counseling. If not, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography by discussing it. Use the lens of “what about it turns him on versus what turns you off.” That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity and closeness.

10. We always need it, but not for the reason you think.
Men are accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this. “Men see sex as a celebration,” says Dr. Schaefer. “They wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to it. We move through life at the speed of sound, with multiplying challenges and pressures. It’s easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure and opportunity that sex affords us. On the long list of priorities, it should not be on the bottom rung.” If that doesn’t make you want to “seize the day” (or something else), consider the health benefits: Orgasms release oxytocin, which has been called the “bonding hormone,” bringing couples closer together while it alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.”

Credits;
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com
Brendan Tapley.