Sexual Mileage

I rarely dream.
Even when I do, I can’t remember the dream when I wake up.
It usually takes coincidence to make me remember I’ve dreamt.
Even then, its in bits and pieces.

But I remember this one.

Obviously the dream has been smoothened out for your ease of understanding.

I awoke in an alternate universe of sorts.
In that place, it was just like earth as we know it. Life was exactly as it is now…wherever you are.
The only anomaly was with us humans.
In my alternate universe we had luminous digits on our foreheads. Just like the dashboard of a car.

I will get to the digits later.

The digits were visible only if you wanted to see them. If I met you and gazed perfunctorily, I’d just see you. If I gazed purposefully at your forehead, the digits would come up for as long as I looked with the intent to see.

Now the digits…

Top right of the forehead showed the persons age.
The middle of the forehead showed the amount of sex had till date in kilometers… Oh yes!
Top left of the forehead showed the last ‘sexcapade’ in kilometers.

So at a glance you could ascertain the sexual experience/awareness of potential partners.

It was not clear in the dream how sexual activity was calculated and subsequently converted to kilometers, but it was a generally accepted system.

I was out on a date with a twenty-year old there. Her stats were mind boggling! She had tallied 146,646 kilometers already. Her last trip showed 2,347 kilometers… “Must have been an orgy or ménage à trois,” I thought.

Then there was my mate. A garrulous chap aged thirty. Always bragging about what a stud he was and how he had bedded all the girls (except your mum and sister of course), he had 25,000 kilometers and a last trip of 0.5 kilometers… Hmmm…masturbation or wet dream definitely.

Oh and sister so-and-so…big on church and religious activities.
Age 28
sexual mileage 205,311
Last trip 0.2 kilometers.
Guess she might have lived a tad permissively before giving her life to Christ. But, who am I to judge?

My ‘bestie’ was female. A living sexual fantasy, had all the attention and men begging with cash incentives.
Tuku had a sexual mileage of 0. Last trip 1,000. Age 33.
Incredulous I wangled a confession out of her.
She was still a virgin and was lesbian/bisexual. Always wanted to save it for someone she loved, who was heterosexual and who was more experienced… Like myself she shyly concluded.

“I’m not that experienced!” I replied hotly. Typically missing the emotional angle.

“Dan, you’re 35 years old. Your sexual mileage is 312,987 kilometers. Your last trip was 10,201 kilometers! We parted at 11 pm last night. Your last trip then was 6,000 kilometers. How did you rack up 10,201 kilometers in eight hours?!”

My live-in-lover told me I woke up crying out, “no…no…no…!!!”


Sex, Orgasms & Pleasure


Let us deviate from the norm and present some statistics aimed at improving our sex lives. I hope the facts presented educate and reeducate preexisting norms, myths, old wives’ tales…etcetera… that have screwed up our sexual bliss.

(Drum roll… please….!)


During orgasm, the heart averages 140 beats per minute.
The average resting heart rate for a man is around 70 beats per minute. The average resting heart rate for a woman is around 75 beats per minute.
” During orgasm, the first several orgasmic contractions occur at intervals of 1 every .8 seconds for both males and females. As orgasm continues, the contractions diminish in intensity and duration, and occur at less frequent intervals. Some people feel that since the rhythmic orgasmic contraction rate for women (and men, too) is .8 seconds, the rhythm of cunnilingus is best paced to this beat – one tongue stroke every .8 seconds. Try it! See if they are right.
” Average duration of orgasm (male): 3-5 seconds.
” Average duration of orgasm (female): 5-8 seconds
” Average number of orgasmic contractions (male): 4-6
” Average number of orgasmic contractions (female): 6-10
” The record for most orgasms enjoyed by a woman in 1 hour: 134

” The record for most ejaculatory orgasms in 1 hour for a man: 16
” Longest recorded single orgasm: 43 seconds with 25 consecutive contractions.
” Orgasms can be powerful painkillers due to the release on endorphins in the body.
” It is normal for a baby to experience orgasm in the first weeks of life.
” Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29
” If you have never had an orgasm, it’s more likely due to the fact that you don’t know how, rather than because you can’t.
” Intercourse isn’t the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
” When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner.
” Average Age of First Orgasm (Females):
Age 1-5, 4%
Age 6-10, 12%
Age 11-13, 13%
Age 14-16, 18%
Age 17-19, 22%
Age 20-24, 21%
Age 25-30, 8%
Age 31-50, 2%
” Both men and women are more likely to experience their first orgasm through masturbation.
” 5% of women say they can achieve orgasm through fantasy, nipple stimulation or by simply squeezing their legs together.
” 40% of women report sex dreams that result in orgasm.
” One study found that only 7.7 percent of women whose lovers spent 21 minutes or longer on foreplay failed to reach orgasm.
” When asked, “How often do you fake orgasm?” in an online poll, 1500 women answered:
I never fake it: 45%
1%-25% of the time: 34%
26%-50% of the time: 10%
51%-75% of the time: 7%
76%-100% of the time: 4%
” Average time to orgasm (female): Females in a sexual study averaged a little less than 4 minutes to reach orgasm during masturbation, though for intercourse it took anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes.
” How often does masturbation lead to orgasm in females?
95% of masturbation sessions result in orgasm.
” While approximately 30% of women have experienced a multiple orgasm, only about 10% do so regularly (regardless of age).
” There are several types of multiple orgasms:

Compound Singles – Each orgasm is distinct and separated by at least a partial return to the resolution phase.

Sequential Multiples – Orgasms occur just minutes apart with minimal reduction in arousal between them. An example of this type of multiple is if you have a clitoral orgasm from oral sex followed by a vaginal penetration orgasm from intercourse, all in the same session.

Serial Multiples – Several orgasms separated by mere seconds or minutes (at most) with no reduction of arousal. Some ladies have this type of multiple as one long orgasm with spasms of varying intensity and degree.
” Does it matter who orgasms first? Only if you’re trying to conceive, according to a British study. Women who climax somewhere between 1 minute before and 45 minutes after their partner’s ejaculation retain 70%-80% of his sperm. Women who orgasm more than one minute before their partner retain less than 50% of his sperm.
” Most guys haven’t a clue when their partner is having an orgasm.
” The “average” single guy lasts 7 minutes during intercourse before orgasm.

” The “average” married guy lasts 14 minutes during intercourse before orgasm.

” Most men can only sustain active thrusting during intercourse for an average of 2 minutes before reaching climax.
” Sexologists estimate that at any given second in the U.S., approximately 800 men are experiencing orgasm.
” For some men, orgasm continues even after the ejaculation has stopped. So, keep this in mind the next time you are pleasuring your man with your hand or mouth. Don’t stop just because the ejaculation has stopped. Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing and they may not overlap entirely. Ask your man.
” A man doesn’t have to have an erection to have an orgasm. They can have what’s called a softgasm, an orgasm and ejaculation without an erection.
” After his first orgasm, the average guy is ready for action again in around 30 minutes.

” 18 year-olds averaged only 15 minutes, while 60 year-olds averaged 20 hours.
” Having orgasms during lovemaking literally helps to build intimacy. During orgasm, the chemical oxytocin (nicknamed the “cuddling hormone”) is released in the brain and brings about feelings of closeness and bonding.
” It is not generally known, but according to some experts, there are several types of female orgasms that are completely different from each other in that they originate from different sources, are supplied sensation by different nerves, and have different levels of intensity, depth, and duration. According to these experts, there are 10 orgasm types for women:
1. Clitoral
2. Vaginal & cervical
3. G-Spot & AFE zone
4. Urethral
5. Breast/Nipple
6. Mouth
7. Anal
8. Blended/Fusion
9. Zone
10. Fantasy
” According to, when a lady has difficulty achieving orgasm these are the highest reported causes:
28% – She wasn’t in the mood
27% – She was too stressed
24% – There was a lack of foreplay
21% – Partner’s lack of response
” According to one study, around 26% of women have consistent trouble in reaching orgasm, as opposed to only 2.5% of men.
” Less than 8% of ladies have an orgasm during their first intercourse.
” According to sociologist, Michel Bozon, vaginal penetration orgasms are more difficult to achieve in the beginning of a relationship. They become easier to achieve after 5-10 years, and become more difficult again after a couple has been together for around 15 years.
” Some experts claim that the opportunity for orgasm may be greater for the lady if you make love on the 14th day of her menstrual cycle, when her sex drive is reportedly at its

No need to thank me…(wink). It was my pleasure; trust me!