Serti Takum

Veni veni, Emmanuel captivum solve Israel, qui gemit in exsilio, privatus Dei Filio.

Gaude! Gaude! Emmanuel, nascetur pro te Israel!”

I do not think that there are many of us left. I am afraid I may be the last one.

Lore, strange truths were whispered in my ears from birth. From lips I never saw. They told me of ancient mysteries, they spoke to me repeatedly long before I had understanding. I have grown with these ‘gifts’. I Am.

Joan was there.

Becky was there.

I. K. was there.

Nura too, I think. The remaining Backpackers were in the second Hilux pickup truck.

It began that morning when we set out to camp at Mayo Kam. We stopped after the petrol station. It’s name (the petrol stations’) escapes me now. Where those traders line up to sell their wares to travellers. As always, we stopped to ‘eat local’. We got some moi-moi (bean pudding) cooked in plastic bags. We also got the yams we intended to roast by the camp fire from there too.

I was seated in front with ‘It Is Raining‘, our eerily quiet driver. I cannot lie, his name really is, It Is Raining. The rest of the team were fussing about trying to buy a bunch of stuff we did not need. I. K. came to me smoking a cigarette and being as rambunctious as only he can manage.

She was standing slightly behind the rest of the traders. She was tall for a local. The table upon which her kuli -kuli (deep-fried, hard and crunchy groundnut paste) was placed was understandably higher than anyone else’s. She had a boy of about ten years old beside her. She was close to this child I perceived. Not a sibling, he was too plain. Or maybe I should say that she was too beautiful. As of right now, despite all that transpired, I still do not know the ties that bound them together.

She was wearing a black cotton embroidered gown. She was slim and lithe. She was exotically beautiful. Dark Nubian. She truly did not belong there.

She and the boy… And so I stared a tad too long.

Naturally, she bristled under my direct gaze and as is the manner of men and women and love and sex and marriage; she made me know that she was interested in me too.

Taraba state of Nigeria still embraces a laid back and traditional culture. Decorum, modesty and decency still obtain. So I discretely commissioned It Is Raining to arrange for a discreet rendezvous scheduled for the next day. Seven pm to be exact. It Is Raining returned to me bearing news that gladdened my heart and my pleasure showed. She watched my face and coyly began stealing admiring glances at me. While Backpackers are not in fairness indecent, they can be quite direct. They teased me relentlessly about the obvious chemistry Serti (yes, that was her name) and I just shared.

As I have revealed in a previous tale, Mayo Kam was a kind of ‘Garden of Eden’. Permit me not to relive that past at the expense of this future. Suffice it to say that we got back to the transit camp the next day, at about noon.

I. K. and I immediately set about imbibing copious amounts of beer. We were joined by one Backpacker after the other until the makeshift ‘bar’ became pleasantly rowdy. At some point, we all decided to barbecue some meat later that night.

That evening, in preparation for my date, I had a long shower and massaged a lot of coconut oil onto my entire skin. It was lightly perfumed with frankincense. I donned a flowing white robe and made sure to wear my ceremonial beads. I finished my ritual by burning a specific special Oudh from Asia.

My ‘hotel room’ (if you could call it that) was basic. A small bed, a one-seat sofa and a plastic chair. I had arranged both seats side by side at the foot of the bed. Behind the seats was a large window it’s panes were made of glass louvres. I shut them and pulled the curtains shut. I required privacy.

I then proceeded to sit in the dark. I meditated on Serti until a soft knock on my door announced her arrival.

I turned on the lights and opened the door. Unsurprisingly she was still as beautiful as the day before. Unsurprisingly, she came with the boy. I sat them on the seats and then sat down opposite them both.

I gazed into her eyes for a bit, and then his. I returned to her lovely face and smiled at her. She smiled shyly in response. I held out both my hands; one to Serti, the other to the boy. They took my hand in theirs and then at my request, held hands too.

“It is time Serti…” I gently informed her.

Her face clouded over as the pain, bitterness, memories all popped out of her soul, through her eyes and into my consciousness. The preceding twenty two words is the part of my calling I hate. I blinked back tears of empathy and gently whispered,

“It is time Serti.”

This time she nodded curtly. The boy answered ‘yes’ even though I was not talking to him.

And so I lifted up my voice…

“…O come, thou Rod of Jesse’s stem
From every foe deliver them
That trust thy mighty power to save,
And give them victory o’er the grave.

O come, thou Branch of Jesse’s Tree
Free them from Satan’s tyranny
That trust thy mighty power to save,
And give them Victory o’er the grave...Amen! “

And they both vanished into the bosom of the Lord.

Then I cried.

Mourning them.

Those two Spirits Lost.

I do not think that there are many of us left. I am afraid I may be the last one.

Lore…, strange truths were whispered in my ears from birth. From lips I never saw. They told me of ancient mysteries, they spoke to me repeatedly long before I had understanding. I have grown with these ‘gifts’.

I Am A Watcher.

I am mandated to maintain spiritual harmony and balance.

To evict and to summon.

To bind and to cast out.

I have been blessed with (The) requisite power and authority.


Mayo Kam 

I am not originally a Backpacker®.

I only signed up for this trip because I was tired. I was tired of life. 

I was tired of being alive. I actually went on that trip hoping to die. Misadventure, murder, animal attack… Anything. Even via the auspices of the pack of prescription sleeping tablets I had stashed away just in case my mind got made up. 

Mayo Kam. 

River Kam. 

Yes, I believe ‘Mayo’ means ‘river’. The waters were deep, clean and cold. We were soberly lectured by the park rangers that a tourist fell in and drowned about a year ago. I so wished it had been me! 

Listen, Mayo Kam is an excellent place to camp. Especially during the dry season when the waters have shrunk and left more sand and land in its wake. There is no mobile service in the Gashaka Gumti Game Reserve. If you are Nature’s kid, you have a home there. It is truly amazing. It is beautiful, pure and largely unsullied. 

We were eleven Backpackers in all. Two heavily armed park rangers and four local fishermen that met up with us by the camp site. 

Leinad, Raj, Rebecca, Henry, Bashiru, Noorah, Joanne, James, ‘Long John’, Sarai…and me. Enez. 

Lovely, lovely people. Diverse experiences, countries and character. Never a dull moment with the Backpackers. Yet I was dead inside. 

I was not sure of the time, but I was positive that the day was Saturday. For two reasons:- Firstly, there was going to be a Super moon tonight, and a lunar eclipse of some sort. Secondly, today was supposed to be my wedding day. 

Cards printed. Venue paid for. Ivory white sleeveless wedding gown bought. Everyone that knew me in any capacity was aware. And why not? I was twenty five years old, I was in love with the only man I gave my spirit, soul and body to. He knew that even Jesus took a back seat when he arrived. Yet… Yet… He PUBLICLY called off the wedding after mandatory blood tests revealed that we were both HIV positive. As in, why?! Who does that?!! HE knew that he had infected me, I was his submissive emotionally and physically! 

My mum consequently suffered a stroke. My dad tried to kill me twice. I tried to ‘kill me’ twice… I was the brunt of every joke. An object of pity and ridicule. The subject of many conversations. All of these inside a week. 

And so I fled with the Backpackers, to this remote and dangerous adventure, hoping I would die. By my own hand or otherwise. 

Leinad was making it hard though. To kill myself I mean. Or to even suffer injury for that matter. He was clearly interested in me. Men! They are so predictable, they would fuck anything given half the chance. 

The fishermen arrived at dusk and immediately set about fishing roughly five hundred meters away upstream. They brought their own gear and so ours was redundant. While the rest of the female Backpackers fussed over roasting yam tubers and frying tomatoes, onions and peppers to make a sauce for the imminent fish, I somehow anchored three hooks together and found a spot on a boulder and began to fish. 

Faithful and loyal Leinad tarried beside me in abject misery until my dark mood forced him to seek lighter spirits. He joined the group by the large fire and soon forgot about me. 

A short time later, I got a bite and expertly reeled it in. It was a foot long indigenous catfish specie. It paled in comparison to the humongous sizes the fishermen were catching and so I killed it just as my dad taught me years ago and decided to use it as bait. I had just tossed my line into the water when I got called to supper. I wedged the flexible but strong fishing rod in a two foot deep crevice, and left. 

I woke up reluctantly sometime during the night. I badly needed to pee, but my sleeping bag was very cosy. Besides everyone, including the park rangers, was asleep. I guessed that it was about midnight. It was pitch black outside the influence of the camp fire light. 

One look at the sky decided me. I got up and walked towards the river and did my business in a hole I dug in the sand. I was just rounding up when I heard something thrashing about weakly in the water. I intuitively knew that my line had caught something big. I was up the boulder in a flash and back down with my fishing rod. 

I think that all three hooks played a part in my catch. I think that the crevice helped wear down the fish. I think that the super moon and it’s unusual brightness lured that fish from the deep.

It was the largest fish I had ever seen in my life! It was not a shark or anything predatory. I think the locals call it ‘water elephant’ or ‘Giwan Ruwa’ in Hausa. 

It was beautiful. I was not afraid. Death by this fish if it could would be welcome anyways. And so I darted knee deep into the treacherously cold and fast flowing water and dug my left hand into its gills and began pulling it ashore. 

I came to pee in the bikini bottom of a two-piece swim suit, with just a hoodie over me and the bikini bottom. The rocks under the water were slippery and sharp. The humongous fish clearly did not want to leave the water… I was almost drowning within seven minutes. 

Whatever I lack as a woman; big boobs, bubble butt et al… came to my aid that night. I used all of the six feet of lithe physiognomy I possessed to lever my catch out of the water. 

The fish was only a little shorter than me. My left hand was still locked under it’s gills. That hand was now numb. I locked my right hand into the gills on the opposite side of its head, sidestepped the last foot or so onto the sand and lunged, pulled and lifted in one explosive move. 

I landed on my right side painfully with the fish’s head between my thighs. Both my hands still gripping it tightly. I was exhausted! My breath was raggedy and labored. I was wet and cold, I was shivering and shuddering – (from hypothermia, shock and adrenaline). 

As I slowly caught my breath, the fish too started to calm. As I slowly warmed up from the heat my body was producing, so did the fish.

But I knew that something was wrong… and so I slowly eased off my painfully cramped fingers and looked down at the fish. 

It now had long hair and was a naked girl. I could feel her cheeks on the insides of my thighs. I could feel her cleavage on both sides of my right thigh. 

I was by now hyperventilating in shock. But I was spent, lactic acid had built up to the detriment of my muscles. I simply could not move. 

And then she started convulsing; flopping about in a most unnatural way.  I did not need to be told, she was dying. 

I successfully struggled to sit up. I held both her shoulders and began to push her back into the water… But the sand and my tired body impeded my noble intentions. 

I began to weep. Not just because of there and then, but because of before. I finally got to cry at the injustices, at the curse of being a woman in Africa, at being ‘the weaker sex’. I was simply so exhausted and tired on the inside and outside. All I could do was to keep stroking her hair and back babbling, ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…’ over and over again. 

I learned something that night; we are spirits and we live in physical bodies. At some point she stopped shivering and translated. I felt her leave. She was not her body, she was gone. Her body went limp, numb and cold. I saw her stand beside me wearing a look of slight confusion and wonder. 

“Please, I didn’t mean to… I am so sorry!” Were my exact words to her. 

She looked down at me for a while and then her beautiful face softened. She knelt beside me and then blew softly on my face, and then lightly kissed my lips. 

“Enez…baby girl… Wake up!”

“Did you frigging catch this behemoth?!” Leinad’s handsome face inquired in disbelief. 

It was about dawn, not quite bright yet. I made him help push the fish back in the water. We watched it bob in one spot eerily before it sank suddenly. 

I shivered suddenly and hugged myself. To my utter amazement, I was bustier! I groped my new and improved breasts in confusion. I looked up at Leinad and the look of pure lust on his face terrified and thrilled me. 

I am no longer ill. Have not been ill since that day, not a cold, rash or headache. I am at peace. I am rich and I am wealthy. I am happy. 

P. S: “Please, I didn’t mean to… I am so sorry!”

Chappal Wadi

About my Christmas… 

It was supposed to be nice and easy. Time spent with family and friends. That is until she called me from the fire. 

My muse I mean. Not the young, hot one though. It was old, old mother. I was stir-frying venison and vegetables on the 21st of December 2017 when the bright blue flames of the gas burner cackled and grew. She was within. Within hours I was mysteriously the wildcard selected to accompany the urban myths, adventurers extraordinaire and totally bonkers Backpackers Nigeria® to climb Chappal Wadi. The highest point in West Africa and Nigeria. And aka, The Mountain of Death. 

We took off on the 23rd of December, 2017. I refuse to bore you with details of that journey. It was gruelling and fun though. 

Fast-forward to the 26th of December, 2017. We were finally at Ngoruje, a transit camp run by the Nigerian Gashaka Gumti National Park. We arrived at about six pm after about seven hours traveling on bad roads. We set up our tents and soon had a fire going. We were surrounded by the reserved trees of the national park. It was chilly and windy. It was dark. The only light came from the campfire. 

Yet I could sense that she was waiting for me. And so I walked towards the edge of the forest. It was dark and cold there, but quiet. I sat gingerly on the exposed roots of a tree and almost immediately I perceived her. She always smelled of cinnamon and wood smoke. Old old mother is very very old. She told me a lot of things about the Backpackers Nigeria® and bid me to put my life on the line for them. She is not one known to be garrulous or to linger. I left the edge of the forest with a heavy heart. 

It is called the Mountain of Death for various reasons. The park rangers told me that it was because many tourists had died there. 

The majority of the good people of Taraba state were largely unaware of the existence of the Mountain of Death. Did not know, did not care. 

The motorcycle riders that risked their lives and ours for about four hours ferrying us on dangerously undulating rocky foot-wide trails up and down mountain sides from Ngoruje to Njawai told me that it was because many  families had died there simultaneously – mysteriously many years ago. No evident reason. 

The head of the hamlet at the base of the mountain, in Njawai told me a lot of things. He especially asked me to convince the Backpackers Nigeria® not to climb. When I asked why, he said that I had ‘the mark of pure light’, and that I knew why. The conversation was in Fulfulde (pronounced Fool-fool-day), the main tongue of the Fulanis. One of the motorcycle riders was ineffectively translating to and fro because I was speaking in the Hausa language. 

At the end, the head of the hamlet reluctantly gave us his permission to go up the mountain… But not his blessings. We were ten Backpackers, two park rangers, two journalists and three local guides. 

Just before I lost view of the hamlet, I raised my hand in salutation to the head of the hamlet, and he curiously waved ‘goodbye’ back at me. 

The altitude sickness was gradual and severe. We were in poor shape within the hour. The climb was up a gradual slope. We sighted antelopes, birds and startled God-knows-what further into the bushes. 

There were a couple of things that had been bothering me. 

Firstly, we were definitely in Cameroon and not Nigeria-Mambilla as was advertised. Secondly, we had not secured migration passes from the Cameroon’s immigration authority, I was not sure, but I felt like we were being watched. Stalked even. Thirdly, and most importantly I was gradually getting covered in goosebumps… It’s my gift. An early warning signal of sorts. 

I was one of the only three that was armed with a firearm. I was the only civilian armed. I had fallen behind because I had to relieve myself. I was on my way back when I heard muffled moans and hushed tones ahead. When I caught up, my team were all standing still like statues. All of them. 

I could hear the sound of flapping. Like really large wings flapping. But I could see nothing. The pungent smell of sulphur confirmed the presence of what I could not see. The gusts of wind from the flapping was raising up dust, leaves and grass. Items of clothing worn by people standing stock-still billowing eerily.

I heard the flaps move slightly away to the first local tour guide. Before my eyes, and in a few seconds, the man gradually emaciated like he was being sucked dry. Like an adult dragging on caprisonne quickly. Kukah crumpled (obviously) lifeless to the ground. Bardeh, the second local tour guide suffered the same fate. Then I perceived it move towards Sarai. 

“Stop!” I yelled. 

I felt it stop, deliberate and veer towards me in a slow whoosh. I remember wishing that I had called out ‘stop in Jesus name’ instead of just ‘stop’. 

However, about a meter away from me, I heard the sound of singeing and I smelled burning feathers… I think. 

I swear I heard whimpering and another rush toward me and then singeing again, burning feathers… and then all went quiet. 

It spoke in an ancient tongue. In guttural and curt syllables. I deduced that I was being asked questions. And so I introduced everyone by name and explained in English why we were here… And then all went quiet. 

“Please. Leave. Now… ” it grated in its harsh guttural voice. And yes, in English. 

Instantly the air cleared. The bodies on the floor vanished and the trance was broken. The Backpackers® emerged all seemingly clueless as to current direction, location, urgency and time. 

“Let’s hurry back down!” I shouted. 

“Hey Big D, what about Bardeh and the other one?! Raj enquired. 

“They went back faster.” I quietly replied turning away so he could not see my face. 

“It’s getting dark, I’m getting cold…” Rebecca petulantly whined. 

“We need to pick up the pace! This place is dangerous, especially at night!!” I called out and began to lead the long way down. 

All Backpackers® are alive and well. Clueless about what really happened on the Mountain of Death, but alive and well. 

May Bardeh and Kukah rest in peace. 

Happy New Year! 

Never Say Never

I think my neighbors wife fancies me.

I think she would like to have sex with me. She told me so. So I know what I am talking about.

The above has nothing at all to do with the story I am about to tell, but I feel that since you and I are close, I can ‘share’.

Uhmmmm, you. Yes Sherlock, I am talking to you.

So… to my story;

I could tell that she was in a bit of a mood. The weekend did not have the effect she had hoped for. She is my friend, at least she thinks that we are friends. In truth, we are mere acquaintances, I would give an arm and a leg to have sex with her. I will not be friend-zoned.

I have rarely seen a woman so desirable! I swear I hyperventilate whenever she touches me.

At the risk of sounding like a borderline psycho, I think that she knows that I want her. I think I see the thought in her gaze sometimes… Sigh!

She is currently in a long-term, long distance relationship. As soldiers, we get moved about a lot. He is a single dad I gather… Late wife was killed, divorced or “raptured”, I truly do not give three stagnant mounds of shit. Baseline is that he is wife-less and woman-less.


She loves him and would love to marry him. He loves her and would love to marry her, but apparently his mum is a bitch. We are a traditional people, parental blessings are a big deal hereabouts.

She loves his daughter who I hear is the spitting image of her mum… Have to hand it to my Infatuation, she has balls! Why on earth would I want to be visually reminded of a rivalslashpredecessorslashcompetition daily?!

So, my Infatuations’ man is a wealthy heir of some sort.

She is a rebel. A doctor turned soldier.

He particularly loves the fact that my Infatuation gets on quite well with his daughter.

But then he loves his mum. I think that he is a bit of a wuss, a spoiled boy-man with a limp phallus and tiny testicles.

Spineless weasel!

When I was a younger, I once stole some money from me-dad, bought candy with the cash and sold it all the same day. I made twice the cash and returned it to his wallet. No drama, no fuss, no reaction.

The above has nothing at all to do with the story I am telling, but I feel that since you and I are close, I can ‘share’.

Uhmmmm, you. Yes Sherlock I am talking to you.

My Infatuation had hoped for a commitment from boy-man over the weekend they had just shared, it clearly did not go as planned. Her phone had been ringing, vibrating in her khakis (to the point of arousing her I’m sure…) She is ignoring him. She would ordinarily die for this boy-man, so I guess that things went south. Far south.

Ordinarily her predicament would be to my advantage, but I don’t like seeing her hurting; Her grip on her assault rifle was too stiff, her scrutiny of travellers was downright predatory, her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, but she was still breathtakingly beautiful.

Our checkpoint was a few kilometers from one of our borders.

Light smuggling and migration was tolerated; Illegal aliens driving, riding, running and walking back and forth through the borders to farm and trade agricultural, perishable produce. They were typically friendly, nervous or preoccupied folk.

Soft work, no big deal.

She had turned momentarily to tell me something, characteristically brushing real or imagined hair, lint, and or specks from my face, hair or camouflage-attired chest (I told you she liked me back!), when her eyes suddenly glazed over… Her lips receded off her teeth in a frightening snarl… Her right shoulder dropped about an inch allowing the strap of her assault rifle to release the messenger of death into her hands. She smoothly pirouetted 180 degrees into a combat-ready crouch. Gun raised, safety off and trained onto a Toyota 1998 model almost chugging past our check point.

Her movements were duplicated and replicated in a way only soldiers instinctively react. Years of training prepare us for situations like this. In nanoseconds all six of us had our sights and muzzles locked and trained on the (now suspiciously looking dark-tinted windows of the) hatchback Toyota.

She hoarsely screamed for the ignition to be turned off and the keys tossed out of the window onto the dusty asphalt.

Now whatever my Infatuation lacks pales in comparison to her instincts. Her sixth sense is acute! Her extra sensory perception has repeatedly saved the lives of fellow officers over the years.

Luckily for him, the driver complied. In further compliance, he exited the vehicle and moved to pop the see-through trunk of the hatchback. He was not the only occupant of the vehicle so whilst I covered her back, my team ‘strategically secured’ the other passengers.

The driver’s body language was off. He was sluggish and shifty. So from about two meters away, my Infatuation got him to uncover a suspicious looking blanket therein. Her assault rifle was swinging somewhat carelessly by the strap over her shoulder, her eyes riveted on the blanket.

The blanket suddenly sat up and fell to reveal a distraught and groggy-looking child of about five years old.

“Papaaaa!” She wailed in despair. Looking wildly about.

My Infatuation was for some reason standing mouth agape staring at the child. Rifle forgotten.

The driver lunged at my Infatuation, a dagger mysteriously in hand. I calmly planted a short burst of about twenty high – caliber bullets into his face. The impact from the M16 dissolved his face into a red splatter of blood, bone, flesh and gore. He crumpled unceremoniously without further ado.

My team also opened fire. Another passenger had foolishly ‘reached’. It was a massacre. The entire fiasco had lasted all of ten seconds.

By the time I blinked, my Infatuation had already snatched the child in her arms in a tight embrace. The child was curiously familiarly hugging her back too.

“Aunty Diana… I want my daddy…” the child requested tearfully.

“She is Myra. David’s daughter…” My Infatuation replied to my probing stare.


My Infatuation had just inexplicably rescued boy-man’s daughter.


The incident cemented their plans for marriage. They were joined a few months later, after she had left the army.

Diana had sex with me on her hen night. It was to be a one time thing she explained… Lesbianism was not going to be a habit for her.

I squirted for the first time in my life that night.

I will always love you Diana.


Death Becomes Him

I can not believe that this impetuous, over-pampered and carnally-minded simpleton actually picked up that phone call… 

I swear by the throne of Jehovah, I will kill him first chance I get. 

Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… 


“… I kept hoping that you’d pick up one day…” 

“Uhmmmm… Yeah… I was conflicted.” 

“Because of what I am?” 

“What are you exactly?” 

“I could show you…” 

Laughs…“For real?” 

More nervous laughter… “Where are you exactly?” 

“Here.” She answered from behind him. 

I kept watch over him. He could not see me, but she could. 

From that day they were inseparable. That day in which he had unwittingly summoned her by accepting her ‘hello’  from’ the other side’. They talked a lot. Very often. He was a very curious soul. 

He was exactly thirty three years, three months, three days, three hours, three minutes and three seconds old when he (unfortunately) stumbled upon the ability to ‘summon’. 

I confronted her one night when he was asleep. I was after all his protector. In righteous indignation I insisted on being told her plans. 

She knew that I had the power to translate her spirit back into the abyss. I am holy and righteous. Maybe that is why she demurely replied me in almost suspicious humility. 

She told me that she loved him. 

“But you are a succubus, a demon!” I recall blurting out. 

She then reminded me about the time the sons of God took for themselves wives of the sons of men. And how they cohabited in love and harmony ever after. It was their offspring that became unruly, not the abominable anomaly. 

I can not believe that I am admitting this, but she was right. 

I immediately summoned Headquarters for wisdom; and reinforcements were expeditiously despatched. The Company clearly considered this client untouchable. He was the apple of someone’s eye. He was clearly special and the beloved of someone important. 

We watched as ABIKU taught him great mysteries. She revealed ancient Truths and Verities that he clearly hungered for. She showed him the treasures of darkness and the hidden riches of secret places. He inevitably became very rich and prosperous speedily. He practically rode the high places of at least two worlds. 

She was plump, shapely and comely. The human vessel she chose was as he found pleasing. She inexplicably favored him for his warmth and meekness. Under our surveillance, she metamorphosed into human (female) tendencies of jealousy, tears and domestication. 

They were under no illusions about who and what she was, and yet they proceeded to know each other carnally. Because of her default (basic) existence and office, they copulated often, and with reckless abandon. Succubi are carnal like that. She was extremely pleased with him. They were in love. 

It has been a decade now. Their unholy liaison is now confirmed by the presence of a ruddy, cheeky and naughty lad. ABIKU is a mother. 

My name is Chrioni. I am the messenger of Yahweh; (The Alpha and The Omega, The First and The Last, Holy of Holies, Jehovah.) 

I am the head guardian angel primarily assigned to this mortal, and then to his family. 

The situation has all of us messengers befuddled. And from the murderous looks of the demons snarling and hissing constantly at ABIKU, her kind are incensed beyond belief. 

We are all watching and waiting. 

God Is Good Transport Company 

The Ramadan fast ended with a two-day public holiday in my country. 

The holidays fell on a Monday and a Tuesday. It provided for a long holiday/weekend. Muslims in my country must have been ecstatic. 

I was not. 

I had to work. 

My work needed me to travel. 

All flights to my work place were fully booked. 

I had no choice but to go by road. 

The road trip would take eight hours. Beard of Moses! Aaaarghh!! 

A few days later I was on my way back home. Same road transportation company, but I did not get my preferred seat beside the driver (or captain as God is Good drivers prefer to be called). I got seat number ‘7’, close to the door, with plenty of leg room…but no headrest. Beard of Moses! Aaaarghh!! 

Seated to my left was a pretty girl. Despite my sour disposition, that fact was impossible to miss. 

Something reeked though. That fact too, was impossible to miss. It smelled of something slightly fetid like a damp item of clothing, pungent body odor or unchanged sanitary pads left on for too long. 

Yes, my nose can perceive that. 

My nose knows. 

It is not my fault. 

I was born this way. 

Please, leave me be. 

We both kept to ourselves throughout the duration of the journey. Maybe like me she did not understand the dialect the rest of the passengers were speaking. Maybe like me she was not a member of the church the rest of the passengers obviously belonged to. They had booked as a group. But she smiled at me bashfully whenever she caught me looking at her, she was very pretty. And she had very long (and dirty) hair.  

The bus was a fourteen seater Toyota Hiace. Fully air-conditioned. The captain was nicknamed ‘Man of God’. The bus was in very good condition. 

Five hours into the journey, the stench grew increasingly worse. Man of God was becoming increasingly jittery too. He began driving quite badly. My country-people are extremely religious, and these passengers were members of the ‘MFM’ church. Their prayers were notoriously firebrand and they frequently called for the death of perceived enemies human and non human. They immediately reverted to type and began to pray in agreement, loudly. 

It seemed to calm Man of God somewhat. Whenever the prayers waned though, the stench would propagate exponentially and Man of God would seem like he was attempting to crash the bus and their prayers would intensify and it would seem to calm Man of God somewhat. 

Mercifully we arrived at a scheduled rest point. It was the last stop before the final two and a half hours to our destination. Gratefully we all scrambled out to go eat, relieve ourselves and / or return circulation to cramped and tired limbs. 

About fifteen minutes later, we began reentering the bus to continue the journey. We were all accounted for, except for my pretty neighbor. 

Ten minutes later she was still nowhere to be found… Same thing fifteen minutes later… The situation remained unchanged thirty minutes after that. At this point the passengers had gotten impatient to the point of hostility. They demanded that we drive off without her. All the restaurants and conveniences had been searched to no avail. 

I then advised that we refer to the ‘passenger’s manifest’ and get her cell phone number and try to call her. Man of God acquiesced… He tried calling her, but his service provider had poor service where we were. Utterly disgusted at the entire scenario, I requested for the number and dialed it. I kept it on ‘speaker’ and it rang unanswered five times. I subsequently suggested that we call her next of kin who’s details ABIKU had also listed on the passenger’s manifest. Man of God acquiesced… And luckily a woman picked up and suspiciously requested for the identity of the caller. We were all listening, the call was on ‘speaker’. 

“Madam, good evening. Na me be driver for God is Good Motors. Abeg one woman wey follow me travel drop your number as next of kin. Her name na ABIKU GAWA. Her phone number na 0*******666. We no fit find the woman. You know am?” 


“Hello madam, you hear wetin I talk? Abeg you know the woman?” 

Heavy breathing… 

“If this is a prank, I suggest you stop it immediately!” She suddenly spat out. Hysteria bubbling under… 

“Madam no be ‘plank‘. We dey find the owner of the number. We go continue journey leave am for here o!” 

“She is dead! She died four years ago!! Why are you doing this?!” 

Beard of Moses! 

Pandemonium broke out!! 

Long story short, I joined them in a heated prayer session that lasted the rest of the journey. Obviously we arrived safely. 

I am an author. I write on my android smartphone. It is convenient and I get to write on the ‘go’. This incident took place a week ago.  As I started writing this recollection, ABIKU GAWA suddenly started calling me back. The ‘Truecaller’ application on my phone confirmed her name. So far I’ve refused to pick up thirteen of her calls within the last forty minutes. 

Buy This Book! : ’32 Days In September’


‘DAY 1’ 


“…Her speedy rise professionally had always bothered her. It was too good, too sweet to be true. Now she knew why. 

She knew about Omuha, Ogboni and even the Illuminati. Several of those seated here were members of some or all of these fraternities. 

The shame though… the inevitable fall to nothingness, after soaring so high professionally. The sniggering and jeers from her many detractors…”