International Women’s Day 

May you find love 

I pray you become all you need to be. 

May you find happiness 

I pray you never undercut yourself. 

May you find peace 

I pray you righteousness and health. 

May you find appreciation
I pray you more honor than you deserve. 

#internationalwomensday

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Dance With My Father

I laid my head on his broad chest, my arms around his muscular torso.

I felt his large hand ‘gently’ thumping my uncovered back, the space between my neck and where my wedding gown began.

Luther Vandross’, “Dance With My Father Again” was aptly playing through the monstrous sound systems DJ Snap had brought for my wedding.

From my peripheral, I could see Antoine standing close to mum. He looked unsure, it was his wedding day, yet his father in-law got the first dance… hahaha…

My mum looked on tolerantly… I guess the years had taught them all not to come between this daughter and her father.

As the song ended, he pulled away and gently kissed my forehead. He was still as handsome as always. Athletic too.
He wore his Armani tuxedo like second skin.

My father… El Presidento! I mean that literally, my dad is Mr President.

He has remained unchanged physically for as long as I can remember. It’s so bad that trash-talker’s have branded him a vampire. Some say he is a shape-shifter.
There is talk of his affiliation with The Watchers and some say even The Illuminati… Well…

I tend to agree… In a way…

Back then he drove a pearl green Nissan Pathfinder. I was maybe four years old.

He has always driven us to school. For as long as I can remember, on my way to school, dad and I always sang and prayed and talked and played every school day. He loved us unreservedly.

That morning, he wore black jeans under a flowing white jelabia (traditional native dress). Everything was normal. I was seated at the back and screaming songs as they played off his CD player.

We got to school and he parked across the building along the street.

As always he would clown a bit before opening the door behind the drivers seat to let me out.

School was for 8 am. But dad was always there by 7 am. I was usually the first student to school.

He was standing out there and making faces at me through the window when suddenly a car hit him.

It seemed to have come from nowhere. I screamed as his body was tossed in the air and then he hit the asphalt before rolling towards the other side of the street.

l looked and saw his white jelabia suddenly turn crimson with blood and dirty brown from dust, mud and dirt.

He was not moving.

I remember screaming “Papa!”… “Papa!!”

I can’t remember how long I screamed and cried. But it was a while.

The engine was still idling, music and the air-conditioning still on. I was frightened and confused.

Suddenly there was a ‘ratatat’ on the window and I whipped towards it, my hands wiping tears from my eyes.

My dad stood by the window.

He looked different. Like a good ghost. He was still dressed the same way, but he was a sparkling white.

I looked past him to where his body had fallen…he was still lying down there immobile.

Even though I was young, I knew this was not a good sign. So I tried to open the door to get to him… To them? It would not open… (Child lock).

Ratatat…

I looked up at dad’s ghost… He was pointing at something in front like on the seat. I slid toward the front and climbed into the drivers seat looking frantically about. I could not see anything he would want.

Ratatat…

I looked… He was by the drivers side window now still pointing… Toward the other seat?

Then I got it… His phone!

I snatched it up and held it toward his ghost… And he rewarded me with a wan smile.
But my face fell as he held up his hand… His usual gesture that meant, ‘wait’.
He closed his eyes as though in deep concentration… Opened them and looked at his phone.
Closed his eyes again, Papa looked like he was going to cry… Opened his eyes and looked at the phone again.

It looked like every time he closed his eyes, he faded. He was weakening.
By the fifth try, I could see through his ghost. I could see his body still bleeding out on the street and my school beyond him.

Then I noticed he had placed his right palm on the window for the first time since his apparition appeared… Again, though I was a kid I intuitively knew he had given up and required I place my palm on the window opposite his. I screamed out, “no!”

He was visibly taken aback by my action and he gazed solemnly at me for a few seconds… Eyes full of tears, I held his gaze… Then he shut his eyes again…

Immediately his phone started to ring, with my heart pounding I glanced up at him and he gestured that I pick up.

“Hello”…, I remember saying to whoever was calling,

“a car hit Papa and I think he is dead”…

“at my school”…I told the screaming lady that called.

By the time I looked up, Papa’s ghost was smiling at me, yet I wept. He was almost like smoke now. But he pointed to his phone again, and it rang once more.

I recognised her voice immediately. My grandmother. His mum. Bawling now, I sobbed out the story. She calmed me down and while we were still speaking, my mum and some uncles arrived within minutes of each other.

Dad was the victim of a freak hit and run accident. The driver did not stop and was never caught.

He broke one leg in two places. Several ribs. Ruptured his spleen. Broke a collarbone and his wrist.
In less than a year though, he was fully healed. To the amazement of everyone.

Only he and mum know the identity of the lady who called him that fateful day. She was the one that called mum. My parents never speak of that part of the incidence or of her. Ever.

I stopped calling him ‘Papa’ after that accident. He became ‘dad’. No reason.

Only he and I know what happened that fateful day. Well you do too (now). We have no need to speak of it.

We became friends, soulmates, confidants after that. Yes, and father and daughter.

He almost gave up and died, and I refused.

No big deal.

He has always loved big cats, guess he simply lost one of his nine lives.

Sex, Orgasms & Pleasure

Okay!

Let us deviate from the norm and present some statistics aimed at improving our sex lives. I hope the facts presented educate and reeducate preexisting norms, myths, old wives’ tales…etcetera… that have screwed up our sexual bliss.

(Drum roll… please….!)

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SEX AND ORGASMS

During orgasm, the heart averages 140 beats per minute.
The average resting heart rate for a man is around 70 beats per minute. The average resting heart rate for a woman is around 75 beats per minute.
” During orgasm, the first several orgasmic contractions occur at intervals of 1 every .8 seconds for both males and females. As orgasm continues, the contractions diminish in intensity and duration, and occur at less frequent intervals. Some people feel that since the rhythmic orgasmic contraction rate for women (and men, too) is .8 seconds, the rhythm of cunnilingus is best paced to this beat – one tongue stroke every .8 seconds. Try it! See if they are right.
” Average duration of orgasm (male): 3-5 seconds.
” Average duration of orgasm (female): 5-8 seconds
” Average number of orgasmic contractions (male): 4-6
” Average number of orgasmic contractions (female): 6-10
” The record for most orgasms enjoyed by a woman in 1 hour: 134

” The record for most ejaculatory orgasms in 1 hour for a man: 16
” Longest recorded single orgasm: 43 seconds with 25 consecutive contractions.
” Orgasms can be powerful painkillers due to the release on endorphins in the body.
” It is normal for a baby to experience orgasm in the first weeks of life.
” Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29
” If you have never had an orgasm, it’s more likely due to the fact that you don’t know how, rather than because you can’t.
” Intercourse isn’t the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
” When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner.
” Average Age of First Orgasm (Females):
Age 1-5, 4%
Age 6-10, 12%
Age 11-13, 13%
Age 14-16, 18%
Age 17-19, 22%
Age 20-24, 21%
Age 25-30, 8%
Age 31-50, 2%
” Both men and women are more likely to experience their first orgasm through masturbation.
” 5% of women say they can achieve orgasm through fantasy, nipple stimulation or by simply squeezing their legs together.
” 40% of women report sex dreams that result in orgasm.
” One study found that only 7.7 percent of women whose lovers spent 21 minutes or longer on foreplay failed to reach orgasm.
” When asked, “How often do you fake orgasm?” in an online poll, 1500 women answered:
I never fake it: 45%
1%-25% of the time: 34%
26%-50% of the time: 10%
51%-75% of the time: 7%
76%-100% of the time: 4%
” Average time to orgasm (female): Females in a sexual study averaged a little less than 4 minutes to reach orgasm during masturbation, though for intercourse it took anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes.
” How often does masturbation lead to orgasm in females?
95% of masturbation sessions result in orgasm.
” While approximately 30% of women have experienced a multiple orgasm, only about 10% do so regularly (regardless of age).
” There are several types of multiple orgasms:

Compound Singles – Each orgasm is distinct and separated by at least a partial return to the resolution phase.

Sequential Multiples – Orgasms occur just minutes apart with minimal reduction in arousal between them. An example of this type of multiple is if you have a clitoral orgasm from oral sex followed by a vaginal penetration orgasm from intercourse, all in the same session.

Serial Multiples – Several orgasms separated by mere seconds or minutes (at most) with no reduction of arousal. Some ladies have this type of multiple as one long orgasm with spasms of varying intensity and degree.
” Does it matter who orgasms first? Only if you’re trying to conceive, according to a British study. Women who climax somewhere between 1 minute before and 45 minutes after their partner’s ejaculation retain 70%-80% of his sperm. Women who orgasm more than one minute before their partner retain less than 50% of his sperm.
” Most guys haven’t a clue when their partner is having an orgasm.
” The “average” single guy lasts 7 minutes during intercourse before orgasm.

” The “average” married guy lasts 14 minutes during intercourse before orgasm.

” Most men can only sustain active thrusting during intercourse for an average of 2 minutes before reaching climax.
” Sexologists estimate that at any given second in the U.S., approximately 800 men are experiencing orgasm.
” For some men, orgasm continues even after the ejaculation has stopped. So, keep this in mind the next time you are pleasuring your man with your hand or mouth. Don’t stop just because the ejaculation has stopped. Ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing and they may not overlap entirely. Ask your man.
” A man doesn’t have to have an erection to have an orgasm. They can have what’s called a softgasm, an orgasm and ejaculation without an erection.
” After his first orgasm, the average guy is ready for action again in around 30 minutes.

” 18 year-olds averaged only 15 minutes, while 60 year-olds averaged 20 hours.
” Having orgasms during lovemaking literally helps to build intimacy. During orgasm, the chemical oxytocin (nicknamed the “cuddling hormone”) is released in the brain and brings about feelings of closeness and bonding.
” It is not generally known, but according to some experts, there are several types of female orgasms that are completely different from each other in that they originate from different sources, are supplied sensation by different nerves, and have different levels of intensity, depth, and duration. According to these experts, there are 10 orgasm types for women:
1. Clitoral
2. Vaginal & cervical
3. G-Spot & AFE zone
4. Urethral
5. Breast/Nipple
6. Mouth
7. Anal
8. Blended/Fusion
9. Zone
10. Fantasy
” According to femaleorgasmsecrets.com, when a lady has difficulty achieving orgasm these are the highest reported causes:
28% – She wasn’t in the mood
27% – She was too stressed
24% – There was a lack of foreplay
21% – Partner’s lack of response
” According to one study, around 26% of women have consistent trouble in reaching orgasm, as opposed to only 2.5% of men.
” Less than 8% of ladies have an orgasm during their first intercourse.
” According to sociologist, Michel Bozon, vaginal penetration orgasms are more difficult to achieve in the beginning of a relationship. They become easier to achieve after 5-10 years, and become more difficult again after a couple has been together for around 15 years.
” Some experts claim that the opportunity for orgasm may be greater for the lady if you make love on the 14th day of her menstrual cycle, when her sex drive is reportedly at its
highest.

No need to thank me…(wink). It was my pleasure; trust me!

Child Of My Heart

Child of my heart
Fruit of love
Beloved from the start
Sent from above.

Love of my life
Daughter of my youth
Mitigator of strife
Speaker of truth.

I loved you before
I love you forever
There’s so much in store
Wealth, health and laughter.

Birthday blessings sweet Sage
I wish you life’s best
Shine brighter with age
My best; my rest, my first.

Ms. Sage…

The experience still haunts me till this day.

She must have been two years old, or slightly less. Though this detail skips me, i do know that she hadn’t begun speaking fluently. Her vocabulary was limited to; ‘tea’, ‘mama’, ‘no’, ‘yes’…etcetera. She had not begun stringing sentences together, just gibberish.

She is my firstborn, and extremely beautiful. I am not biased, I’ve had to batter a few friends who dared compliment her good looks. Let’s just say i am extremely possessive around the kid.

You know what they say about daughters and their fathers? Yeah, we fit the profile. We are close like that. Right from birth, uncanny really.

She does not call me ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘daddy’. For some reason, at the point of my story, she was calling me ‘babes’. Her mum calls me that. Years after, she still calls me ‘babes’ when she wants my full attention.

The times in question were rough. Trying situations sought to test my resolve. She was still being potty-trained. Her personality was starting to blossom, my life was in crucial imbalance. My rite of passage into fatherhood was tough.

The time was about 5 a.m. She specifically woke me up, and i knew she had to go ‘potty’. And so groggy and bleary-eyed from sleep, i acquiesced and had her all set up. I was leaning against a door frame thinking thoughts i cannot recall presently.

‘Babes…’

‘Yes baby…?’

‘Jesus is coming soon.’

Now folks, I’m not the sort prone to fear or panic. But those words sent me hyperventilating. I jerked upright, my (very few hairs) prickling…

‘What did you just say?’

With her lovely eyes as clear as crystal, her manner and demeanor devoid of guile or motive, she reiterated, ‘Jesus is coming soon.’

I later learned that i had screamed for her mum. Because the wife was suddenly beside me, a picture of maternal authority.

‘Sage, tell mama what you just told me?’ I remember hoarsely requesting.

And she did.

‘Jesus Christ!’ Her mum expostulated.

Yuppity yup!! The same one coming soon apparently I reasoned. The ‘sly’ in me emerged in microseconds…

‘When is He coming exactly?’

She smiled enigmatically in response.

‘Is it today?’ her mum quipped.

Another smile.

‘Babes…?’

‘Yes Sage?’ We chorused.

She stood up. ‘I have finish.’