International Women’s Day 

May you find love 

I pray you become all you need to be. 

May you find happiness 

I pray you never undercut yourself. 

May you find peace 

I pray you righteousness and health. 

May you find appreciation
I pray you more honor than you deserve. 

#internationalwomensday

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#foreverychild 

May it be that we all be your parents. 

May it be that we all shelter you from prejudice, vice and abuse. 
Regardless of creed, race or religion, 

May it be that we all nurture you in love, peace and education. 
May you all grow to be better than us;

Loving, protecting and reeducating all children. 

May it be… 
#foreverychild

Mama Mia

My mum is just a mum. 

No slaying… 

Not a diva… 

No swag… 

Does not own a smartphone. 

The quintessential mother; loving, selfless, godly, religious, safe… You know, mummy-ish. Every phone call from her ended with a prayer. She is a Christian and a ‘prayer warrior.’

I come from the Northern part of the country. A job in the federal capital territory was a dream come true. I jumped at it enthusiastically. 

The first few months were tough. My learning curve was steep. But I balanced out. As things got better, I moved into a better part of town. I got a car and started to make new friends. 

I met a group of attractive women et al. They were called the ‘witches of Harlem’ behind their backs. They had a Goth/Emo combination going on. They were easily the life of any party or occasion. 

I have always done well with women. Women love me. I think it is because I am nice… Yes, really I am. 

The ‘head witch’ was Ada. 

She was hot. 

Hawt. 

Haute. 

She had a tattoo of a tiger over her left boob. It started between her breasts all the way… Uhmmmm… Left. She was tastefully pierced and studded here and there. I first met her at a soiree hosted by the American embassy. 

She walked up to me and told me that she liked me. She then asked if we could date. I was single at the time so I said yes. I love tigers…

My rep’and market value skyrocketed afterward! I suddenly began to get invited everywhere. My affiliation with the witches of Harlem was well received. I began to be called, ‘the wizard of Oz’. 

Teehee… Me, church-boy, a wizard?! Teehee…  

Anyway, Ada was okay. I truly have dated better. Looking back now, I think I had started to find her boring. All bark and no bite. I have been with ‘church girls’ that behaved like your favourite pornstar. So, I found Ada a tad lacklustre. 

I have always insisted on condoms. Despite the fact that Ada hated condoms. 

I insisted despite the clean bill of health her blood work from National Hospital showed…She raved and ranted about her hatred of condoms… Shed a crocodile tear or two… Threatened to sexually starve me…  (and she did). I insisted on the condoms regardless. 

Remember that she sexually starved me? Right…it lasted about a week. She staged the fight on a Friday. 

By the next Friday then, I was on a casual date with Adriana, the daughter of a Brazilian diplomat. We were at MarionStones® eating grilled steak and vegetables when Ada suddenly showed up and was disrespectful to me and my date. She caused such a scene that we were all asked to leave the establishment. 

Adriana already knew about Ada, so she was cool and wanted another date if I “survived the night.”

I got back to my studio apartment to meet a livid Ada, who proceeded to verbally abuse me. She said that she would make my life miserable and that I “had better fall back into formation!” 

I calmly broke up with her and walked her out of my house. 

The nightmares started that very night. I woke up screaming every night for the next few days. I would wake up and see scratches and cuts all over my body. Injuries that were not there the night before, injuries that no human could have inflicted. 

I became skittish and paranoid. I was tormented by ghouls and nightmares every single time I shut my eyes. 

I uncharacteristically called my mum and requested that she come spend a few days. She uncharacteristically accepted and said she would be at my place by dusk the next day. 

That same day,  Ada called and asked if I had “come back to my senses” yet. I told her to “go and die!”

That night, she showed up in my dreams with a few garishly dressed women and told me that I was going to die the next day. 

I woke up troubled. I was starting to understand that these women were not just called ‘witches’ for fun. I was suffering the wrath of a witch scorned. I am not ashamed to admit that I knew I was going to die the next day. I was a broken spirit. My only regret was that I could not reach my mum to spare her the trauma of being the first person to see my corpse. 

I actually put my affairs in order before noon the next day. My mum arrived towards evening. After fussing and praying over me for half an hour, she left me in my room. I was now more optimistic. I had faith and hope. 

I must have drifted off to sleep because when I opened my eyes, Ada and three of her friends were in my room holding gourds and cowhide whips. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. My heart began to beat violently, my tongue felt swollen and my eyes bulged as they took turns assaulting and battering my strangely supine (and somewhat restrained) body. 

Ada then pulled out a long porcupine quill sharpened at the tip, dipped it into her gourd and approached me, her intention obvious… Just then the door of my room flew open and my mum stepped in. 

I tried to call out for my mum to save herself until I saw that she was smiling.

 Yes, smiling! 

You do not want to see my mum smiling when nothing is funny. 

She locked eyes with Ada who was now looking back and forth between my mother and I in confusion. 

“Rachel, I… I don’t understand… What are you doing here?”

“He is my son!!” Was all my mum said through gritted teeth. 

At her words I felt a great weight lift off me, unseen shackles seemed to fall off my body and I regained  my faculties instantly. 

I looked up to see Ada and her goons curtsy humbly at my mum and then, I swear (down), vanish into thin air. 

 

I tried to bring up the topic the next day, but then my mum started to smile… 

The Quintessential Entrepreneur

#hegemonquickeats
#Andrewochubaiye

Thank you…

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Fear, Trepidation, Darkness, Scourge…
The curse of the dreamer
The bane of the visionary
Dynamic with gusto
Unwavering yet cautious
Deep are the gorges along his back
Scars that detail each mis-step.

Fervor, Truth, Zest, Brazen…
The symptoms of his passion
Steady stream of light blazes
A Cornerstone, the scarlet cleanser
Brandishing steel in dimensions unseen
Deep are the gorges that line his back
Scars that detail each sacrifice .

Seed, Seasonal Sprouts, Gusts of Wind…
Effulgences of the victories
Mere shadows of a future forecast
Patents of excellence
His glory, his worth, his reward
Deep are the gorges that line his back
Scars that detail each victory.

Numero Uno

Mostly I have been a handful
I have been largely a fool
For all my foolishness, I am sorry.

Mostly I have been irascible
I have been largely a wildling
I have broken your heart severally
For all my failings, forgive me.

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Mostly you have been an angel
You make my life beautiful
Your sacrifices are not taken lightly
You embody style, charm and grace
For all these and more, I am grateful.

Lovealways babes.
I wish us decades of happiness and friendship.
Thank you for all that you are; and will be for the sake of us…

Artiste Alert: Jela!

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#whenwordsfail

Ah!

Where to begin?

Seldom have I been rendered speechless by sounds so ethereal. Melodies so haunting that I was tossed, no, transported to realms hitherto unknown.

The artiste delivered a delicate symphony with her words. They were soothing yet sad. Uplifting, yet so melancholy it almost breaks the heart to wonder what experiences lent her these lyrics.

Without, I suspect, meaning to, she has at least touched the ninth gate. Definitely something spiritual about the song.

I was curious to learn more.

I learnt she is a mother and wife.
I learnt she is a lawyer.
A millionaire in her own right… Yeah… She is apparently a shrewd investor.

Her friends ironically label her as talkative… Hmmm… #whenwordsfail eh? When a sanguine is at loss for words, maybe we should be concerned?

Her musical tastes are eclectic. And she is opinionated. Considering her millions, I guess that trait works for her.

The single dropped independent of any record label and boy did she raise a buzz! In the weeks following her songs test run, she has consistently enjoyed airplay on eight radio stations.

Social media is positively aglow with “likes” and “shares” nearing a thousand. While she didn’t ‘break the internet’ (yet I think), the woman is everywhere.

Two bloggers I respect have promoted her for free!
Uhmmm… Make that three.
Listen and you will see why.

If (for reasons based on my IT incompetence) the link doesn't work, please just Google "Music By Jela" or "Angela Omeiza".

The song can be heard or downloaded from reverbnation for free.

Two thumbs up ma'am.

I am a fan.