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“Tan largo me lo fiáis”

(translated as “What a long term you are giving me!”)

List of Characters:-

1) Don Juan (The Black Version)

2) The Mother in law

3) The Wife

4) The Wife’s Sister

5) The Father In Law

Don Juan (The Black Version)

“Mankind is wicked; I am a man.”

The Mother In Law

Monique was not sure what it was about her son in law that she disliked. In truth, there was nothing obvious to dislike. He was wealthy. He was a good looking young man. He was charismatic and suave. His confidence oozed. He was a great speaker and was frequently on television seducing viewers with his eloquent delivery. Most importantly, he made her daughter happy.

But… There was something ‘dark’ about that boy, she thought. She did not trust him. His innocent, piercing eyes held yours always. No, this boy was ‘no good’. She could not put her finger on the issue, but her maternal instincts were never wrong.

The Wife

Celeste was in utopia! Her friends were green with envy and told her so always. She had snagged a major one. Don Juan was quite literally every woman’s dream. Tall, dark, handsome and rich. He was generous, likeable and good in bed. The sound of his voice always caused her ‘lips that could not speak’ to moisten. In urban parlance, she was dick-matized!

He was kind and gentle to her. He pretty much left her to her own devices. He always pampered and spoiled her rotten. They were so in love!

The Wife’s Sister

Uhmmm…maybe later. It’s too early in the story to feature this character. Please be patient.

The Father In Law

Derek was discombobulated. He was a rich man. A devoted father of two beautiful daughters and husband to one wife. He was a rich and powerful man. He was feared and respected. Many young men had unsuccessfully tried to marry his angels. Scallywags! Scoundrels! Gold diggers!

Not Don Juan though. The boy wanted nothing! He did not seem to want anything but to be part of his daughter’s life. He was respectful, thoughtful and handy. He always knew someone that could get anything done. Two years into the marriage with his daughter, and everything was picture – perfect. Celeste was a handful, just like him – her father. She was opinionated and stubborn. Proud and spoilt. But Don Juan was the perfect husband and son. Yes, the son he never had. The son he wished he had.

The Wife’s Sister

Oi! Again with the pressure?! We talked about this before…

Uhmmm…maybe later. It’s too early in the story to feature this character. Please be patient.

Don Juan (The Black Version)

“Whenever your woman becomes irascible. It may be seasonal or locked in her DNA. That my friend is the time to woo her, pamper her, make love to her… So she never suspects that you are banging another woman more agreeable.”

The Father In Law

Derek was paralyzed with fear. His ulcers seemed intent on killing him the next minute. His bowels were loose and he was perspiring profusely. How could this have happened? Monique, his wife had swooned again. The detectives had arrived to confirm their worst fears. His daughter, Celeste’s sister, had been kidnapped. The ransom was set at ten million dollars. The money was not the problem, but they all knew that his daughter would not return the same way again. Maimed perhaps. Raped whilst being videotaped, certainly. (for future extortion and leverage). Killed, fifty percent likely.

The country was a zoo!

Don Juan (The Black Version)

“Things happen, not always within a man’s control. What he may control is his reaction, and the inherent advantages every tragedy encapsulates.”

The Mother In Law

Monique was a nervous wreck. Her blood pressure was currently sky high. She was also currently the sole owner of the worst migraine this side of the Atlantic. She was in and out of consciousness. The sedatives the family doctor had given her were just enough to make her drowsy. Derek, her poor Derek was in and out of her bathroom so frequently that her massive bedroom now reeked of vomit and diarrhea.

Then she heard Don Juan on the phone. He was speaking in a strange patois she was vaguely familiar with. Broken English. Pidgin English. She did not know that he had it in him. His voice was now a sinister rasp. He was threatening somebody. He was giving an ultimatum. He was threatening retribution up to two generations. He was promising death. Painful death in such detail that as she listened on she broke out in vivid goosebumps. He was not Don Juan at the moment… This was a maniacal demon!

She did not think that he loved her family this much. Maybe she was wrong about him.

The Wife’s Sister

Oh for crying out loud! Is this your story?! I cannot work under these conditions! Not yet I said!

Uhmmm…maybe later. It’s too early in the story to feature this character. Please be patient.

The Wife

Celeste beamed widely at her parents as the Uber crept up the driveway of her parent’s house. There was another car driving behind the Uber. It was occupied by three men of the underworld. Her parents grinned weakly back. Their necks stretched in anticipation and apprehension at the approaching vehicles. As her sister stepped out of the car, her mother sank to her knees and wept in relief. Her father ran up and bodily lifted his lost but found daughter in a bear hug.

Celeste smiled proudly at her husband. Her man. The hero of the day. One phonecall was all it had taken. The three men had exited their vehicle too. They had spread out strategically. They were all armed with hand guns. They all wore masks that hid their faces. They were a jumpy, skitterish and shifty lot.

Her sister walked up to her and warmly embraced her. Then turned towards Don Juan and launched herself into his arms crying.

Don Juan was holding a small gym bag full of money. A token for the thugs that had delivered her sister. So he could not hold up her sister for more than a few seconds. He gently set her down but she clung to him like a USB in a manufacturers approved slot/port.

Her sister had a massive crush on her husband, it was an open secret. Most women did.

Just then, her drama queen of a mother (still on her knees) let out a blood curdling shriek. The ‘crazed’ mother snatched up a large ceramic calabash that adorned the small fountain in front of the house and arose. She charged at an unsuspecting Don Juan bringing the vessel viciously down towards his head.

The Wife’s Sister

Queen had been Don Juan’s lover for as long as he had been Celeste’s husband.

Don Juan had told her that he should have married her instead of Celeste. His wife was a misguided feminist. A rebel with no cause. A spoilt self centered brat.

Don Juan had promised to elope with her. They were in love.

His role in her rescue had caused her to abandon a bit of common sense and discretion. When she hugged him, she had naturally reached behind him to cup his taut, muscular buttocks. He responded by subtly, almost imperceptibly driving his hip into hers.

Just then her mother looked up and caught them. And then mother dearest simply ran mad.

A gunshot rang out.

The bullet went straight into her mother’s forehead killing her instantly. The perpetuators scurried into their car and zoomed off towards the gates.

And great was the pandemonium forthwith…

Don Juan (The Black Version)

“All that you know is all you have learned. All that you have learned is not all there is to know.”

THE END.