Site icon Dan Ochu-Baiye

Should A Man Ever Hit A Woman?


Hi there!

Been a while… You good?
I’m good… Yeah…
Lovely weather yes?


True story, broad daylight. Busy weekday. Along a major expressway.
Car screeches to a halt abruptly, Driver and passenger doors fly open within seconds of each other.
Guy jumps out of the drivers side, lady tumbles out of the passengers side and he starts to pursue her around the parked car.
His mien darkened with murderous rage. His intent and mission homicidal.
Don’t know how that ended, I witnessed it in a ‘go slow’ traffic from the other lane. Cars in front of me started moving. Cars behind were honking.

Another case in which my neighbors live-in lover casually mentioned that, whenever their home was too quiet she’d “(just) do something to annoy” her boyfriend. That once she got him provoked enough to beat her up, they would have common ground to make up and talk.
They are married nine years now. Three kids.

So, I’ve been hearing of recent that, “men should not hit women” … “Real man won’t raise his hand on a woman” … “Any man that can hit a woman is a coward, weak” … Blah… Blah… Blah…

Lemme cut to the  chase, it is perfectly fine to hit a woman.

Yes I said it!

Bite me!!

Uhmmmm, on second thoughts don’t bite me, I’ll definitely bite back.

Seriously, do, not, touch, me.

There are several instances in which the man has no choice but to hit a woman. No choice whatsoever but to strike his woman.
Thank you for asking, I will mention three possible instances.

The said man is minding his business, or not.
The said woman is most likely not minding her business, or not… Hehehehe…

And then owing to misadventure or a freak accident arising he sees the said woman about to be mortally damaged, maimed or immortalised; he is permitted to violently pull her away, thump or swat, therapeutically slap or suckerpunch her into sanity or silence, clothesline her in restraint or brilliantly tackle her all in a valiant bid to cheat injury or worse to her fair self.

The ‘misadventure or freak accident arising’ situations are, but not limited to :-
Choking, Fire, Unseen incoming vehicle, Child or human bleeding to death, Risk of capture by ISIS, Boko Haram or Al Qaeda, Spiders… etc.

It is wrong to hit anyone. Especially if witnesses testify that you dealt the first blow. In such instances, self defence may prompt response in kind.
If you live in Africa, or you plan to visit in the near future, ladies, my loves, might I suggest that you suppress any (demonically-inspired) desire or notion to strike the average African man? I wager that you would not walk away unaided.

Free tip from locker rooms and gentlemen clubs worldwide, most men generally think that a woman that strikes a man is not a lady. So, they need not be gentlemen around such women. Recent polls show 74% of men would hit a woman.¶

I personally blame gender equality.

All I’m saying is that you ought to objectively expect substantial ROI, when you invest in striking a person. Not every one would shrug it off like I would (wink).

Let’s imagine that you and the woman are getting intimate.
Please, I beg you, work with me here. I can actually spell it out for you, but my mum reads my work…?
So, by reason of perversion and personal fetish, I place you behind her bent-over form.
You are a Male Ambassador, elected by nature (and) or some other power or incentive at that precise point in time to help her value the male species.

If you should happen to hear her scream, mumble or beg,

“Baby, spank my ass…?! ”

Please sir, raise your splayed hand or finger(s) to an appropriate height and in compliance to her wish, strike that woman!

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