For The Married (Part 5)

Marriage does not solve any problems.

All over the world married people are figuring this out.
For every lovestruck lover that’s rushing in, three disillusioned ones are clawing their way out.
Every other weekend, some star-crossed lovers tie the knot. While those married, and in attendance, sit in reflection.
Maybe even place mental bets on how long this new union will last.

Did you get in for a green card?
To escape poverty or abuse?
Maybe they are your meal ticket? Your legitimate ATM card?

Or you’re a gigolo. A hustler?
A gold digger. An opportunist?

Truth is that your motives guarantee the success of your marriage.
As an ‘Angel’ once wrote to me, “…time reveals all things. Time is the true standard and test of all things.”
Why did you get married to your spouse?

5) YOU

It all starts with you.
Who are you? What do you want from life?
What do you live for? What are your values?

Are you happy being you? Because if you are not, no one can make you happy.
Are you comfortable in your skin? What trash are you hauling?
Trash or cash, what are you bringing to the table?

As time unfolds, we start to see the truth about our partners do we not?
Weaknesses, propensity for all kinds of issues and oh man…their drama!
How well you stretch or bend over in accommodation is directly proportional to your self-health.

There can never be another ‘you’.
That you don’t feel unique, or because we don’t see your uniqueness is irrelevant.
A diamond is a diamond.
In the rough, polished, or lost…it is still a diamond.

Blood diamonds.
Smuggled/trafficked diamonds.
Stolen diamonds.
Swallowed diamonds.
In-a-pigs-gut diamonds.
Displayed-in-the-Vatican diamonds…

You are a diamond.

You are a precious diamond.

Regardless of what state you’re in, you just need to get yourself better than you are today.

You are meant to shine bright.
To show forth light.
That light is to wash upon everybody. To show at least one person the path to their light…their destiny.

That one person may be the person you are married to.

I would be lying if I said that the key to releasing your light is in your hands alone.
No it is not.
But that is not my path today.
You, however, possess the ability to make a change.
To ‘will’ and to ‘do.’

You could start by reinventing yourself:-

1) take care of your body better. Be clean. Be healthy. Watch the junk and gunk you put into your body.

2) take care of your mind. Get an education. Enrich and stimulate your inner you. Try God? A spiritual foundation goes a long way.

3) work out often. At least thirty minutes a day. Trust me on this one, it works.

4) develop some style and class. Model that persona after a like-mannered or likeness of you. Movie star? Celebrity? Dig into GQ, Cosmopolitan, Fashion TV… Develop a sense of flair.

5) Actively research on stuff that intrigue you. In this day and age, information abounds. Study, learn, observe and KNOW.

It is hard to bring down a person with a healthy self esteem.
A person with a healthy self esteem will not (normally) seek to bring you down.

That is what you owe yourself. A healthy self esteem.
Self respect.
Value yourself and your body.
Place value on your mind and spirit.
That is your right. It is your responsibility.
It is what you can humanly achieve.
It is never too late to start.

“Love starts from you to another.
And from the other to another.
And then to others…”

Dan Ochu-Baiye

Large. Curious. Reads a lot. Wild. Loves lions and tigers. Music. Gym. Hiking. Loud music.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Tuesday

    Ok….read all th emarraige series…u know my respose already…..
    Just one thing i will permit meself to commect on, your 5 should be your 1…

    1. Dan Ochu-Baiye

      It was supposed to be a long read. Breaking it up threw off my continuity. I’ll revise and see what you mean.

  2. Tuesday

    Excuse the typos…#eyeswideshut#

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