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So you’ve snagged yourself a companion…

Maybe even wangled a ring? Or even audience with a minister… Married huh? Bully for you! Don’t know you personally, but I’m one for progress and fruitful relationships. My warm congratulations.

How long now? Are things waning slightly? Not as rosy as you thought? Interference experienced?

You’re thinking, “must be his mum, her friends, her ex…Oh, Snap!! Its the devil!!!”

Well…maybe one of them. Maybe all of them. Maybe none.

But before you do anything rash, consider a few pointers as postulated (and subsequently elucidated) by a few good, decent, godly, married and older folk.

For The Married

1) Sex

No dodging this bullet…

Its how come 97% of us came to be. Oh the bliss! Nothing quite like this activity… Or not. Probably not in your case?

Sigh…

Firstly, study. Yes. Read up. Google the topic if you are at a loss. It ought to be common knowledge by now that, “great lovers are made; not born.”
I have earlier posts that handle this subject.
Bottom line is that it takes effort. It is your responsibility to cater for your spouses sexual needs (tongue-in-cheek) all of them. Within reason of course (snigger…)

Secondly, Push boundaries. You are one! Reinvent your sex lives. Be innovative. Try new stuff. Break out the Kamasutra. Sex education. You are married for crying out loud, ideally you only have each other. Who best to get wild and kinky with if not with your spouse; if they are willing and/or teachable?

Third; so maybe you see your spouse surfing a porn site…or in possession of pornographic materials…and or paraphernalia?
Flip? Make a scene? Fight? Depending on your religious and moral inclinations, I guess you may be justified.
May I proffer a more diplomatic approach though? I call it informed intelligence.
Before you vent, go through the pornographic material objectively if you can. Learn what goes on in your beloved fantasies. Maybe it was a pop-up from a previous viewer? Maybe an advertisement they accidentally clicked on (yes, its been known to happen). And maybe they like porn.
If you’re lucky, its your body type they are really into. If not, you now know what to work on.
How? Consider going through the material with them. Downplay the situation. Don’t take stuff too personally. Life does not revolve around you…you are not oxygen or blood. Maybe its a position they were relishing? Consider making their fantasy come true.
Remember, to each other, you may be ice cream. But who realistically wants to eat ice cream for the rest of their lives? Exquisite as ice cream may be?
You now have the informed intelligence to vary your ice cream.
Flavour it up; Strawberry flavour? Cappuccino? There are dozens to choose from. Soft serve? Hard? On a cone? In a tub? Toppings? How many scoops? How to eat it? Lick? Suck? Your choice.
Informed intelligence empowers you. It may lend you the tact of not even bringing up the issue. Why not simply act out their fantasy for them? They would think God came through for them personally!

Fourthly, I humbly recommend that you both work on your diet.

Eat loads of bananas- women.
And snails- men.
Or…
Cucumbers- women.
Oysters- men.

Oh please! Stop rereading those lines!!

I mean cunnilingus and fellatio!

Keep up…work with me!

There’s nothing quite as intimate as the aforementioned cuisine when served in a giving and loving atmosphere.
Nothing binds quite as much as consumption of bananas and snails. No better ties to bind with.
Think of the mutual submissiveness… The humbling of one to the other and vice versa? The naughtiness? The secret and taboo dimensions…

Once in a while, toss in a bottle of wine. There’s a classic vintage I recommend. “69”. Truly unforgettable.
A pleasant shock to the palate.
Served chilled or at room temperature, this vintage will bind you to it eternally.

A toast to you both in advance.